Making the decision to homeschool is one of the biggest parenting decisions you will ever make. Some women know long before they even meet their prospective spouses that they intend on homeschooling their future children while others send their kids to public school for four years and then on the eve of a new school year, feel drawn to keep her kids home. And many moms are somewhere in the middle of that spectrum. No matter which mom you find yourself to be, deciding whether to homeschool is a HUGE decision and one that should not be taken lightly. There are seemingly 100 different things to consider when making the decision, and if you join a FB group of current homeschoolers, you’ll be faced with 1000 new considerations! In order to not get overwhelmed, try focusing on just these three for now…
ONE: SOCIALIZATION
How will your kids receive SOCIALIZATION?
This is such a “hot-button” issue between pro/anti homeschoolers that it seems like a crazy place to start but the reason it is a hot-button issue is because it’s an important one. SOCIALIZATION {the process by which one acquires a personal identity and learns norms, values, behaviors and social skills} cannot be done in a vacuum or alone at home. Despite what many homeschoolers tend to argue, SOCIALIZATION is a legit concern. Most homeschoolers bristle when somebody {anybody!} asks about SOCIALIZATION for homeschoolers. Personally, the question does not bother me because I believe it is a fair question. Whether you move a child from public school to homeschool or a child’s education begins with homeschool from the start, the fact remains we are removing kids from the automatic, built-in day-to-day social setting that is found in the public school classroom. {Whether that is good or bad SOCIALIZATION, is a different question for another day.} And, unless you’re wanting to homeschool in order to keep your children literal captives at home, you would probably {hopefully!} agree that kids need some sort of SOCIALIZATION. The GREAT news about homeschooling is that we get to CHOOSE with whom and how they socialize. So allow yourself to ask the important question… how will your kids receive SOCIALIZATION?
Do your kids already have friends who are not based on their current school setting?
Do you have neighbors who homeschool?
Do you have neighbor kids at all {so your kids can play with them after school}?
Do your kids have cousins in the area?
Do you attend church where your kids have friends?
Do your kids participate in any {non-school related} sports or other activities?
Can you afford to add them to new/additional sports or activities?
Are there any co-ops in your town?
If so, check their rules and bylaws. Would any of those co-ops be a good fit for your family?
If not, would you consider yourself confident and capable enough to start your own co-op?
Does the local library offer any type of activities for HS kids?
If not, do they offer after school activities for all kids?
Do you already possess the necessary transportation to take your kids to/from activities/playdates/etc?
Do you have multiple kids?
If so, will you homeschool all of your kids? Do some of those kids need naps, have busy schedules or require special attention of some sort?
Are your multiple kids close in age? Do they get along? Do they enjoy being together?
Do your kids like loads of social interaction or do they just tend to have one close friend?
How do you feel about your kids having on-line friendships?
How you do feel about your kids being friends with younger kids? Older kids?
Every family will answer those questions somewhat differently. Every situation is unique but remember, the question isn’t “If I choose to homeschool my kids, will they receive any SOCIALIZATION?” The question is “How will they receive that SOCIALIZATION?” I’m a wee bit different in the homeschool world because I only have one kid so any/all SOCIALIZATION occurs when I make plans with other people or take our son to an activity. So, believe me when I say, if I can provide not just sufficient SOCIALIZATION but also meaningful SOCIALIZATION for him, then you can too!
TWO: FINANCES
Can you afford to homeschool?
If you are already a SAHM with no income, then this is a much smaller piece of the decision-making puzzle for you. All you need to consider is if your FINANCES can handle buying curriculum and paying for potential outings?
If you are NOT currently a SAHM, you do need to sit down and do the math on whether you can afford it. Things to consider when looking at your FINANCES…
How much do you make per year?
Can your family afford to lose your income?
Are there ways you can cut things from the budget?
Are you the provider through whom your family’s health insurance is offered?
Do you currently pay childcare while your kids are at work?
Do your kids have any included meals while at public school or childcare now? {because homeschool kids seem to EAT their way through the day!}
Can you afford to buy curriculum?
Can you afford field trips, memberships to museums and whatnot?
If you would still need to bring in some income, what could you do to make that happen?
Are you organized enough to work part time and teach from home too?
Are you focused enough to work from home with your kids doing lessons as well?
Are you driven enough to do it all? And to do it all well?
Only you and your husband can decide whether you can afford homeschooling or not. Asking other homeschool moms can be helpful in terms of identifying any “hidden costs” to homeschooling but, in the end, every situation varies greatly. As far as knowing how much curriculum can cost, you just need to know it can range from basically free to thousands per kid. The best suggestion is to decide how much you want to budget for curriculum, plus how much you want to spend on field trips, classes, etc and then throw in some more for unexpected things. If you decide to homeschool, use that number and stick to it. Adjust it for the next year if you need to.
THREE: SUPPORT
Who will SUPPORT you on this journey?
{The SUPPORT of your spouse is a given. If your spouse is not on board with the idea of homeschooling your children, you need to stop reading this and focus on that issue before anything else. Under no circumstances do I suggest that a mom should homeschool without the complete SUPPORT of her husband.}
So, assuming your husband is already on board, who ELSE will SUPPORT you? Because, believe me, you will need it.
Will your parents support you?
In-laws?
Close friends?
Church family?
Grown children?
Neighbors?
Old friends?
On-line friends?
I’ve been very blessed in the sense that our family and friends have been very supportive along our entire HS journey so far. But, I know that is not the case of many, many homeschoolers. I’ve heard of homeschool moms being verbally attacked by their own mothers for ruining their grandchildren. I know moms whose next-door neighbors have called CPS because they homeschool. Friendships have crumbled, families have become estranged and marriages have ended because some moms have opted to keep their kids home and provide their education. Stop now and think of the important people in your lives. If you care what they think, ask yourself if they are likely to SUPPORT your decision to homeschool. If you don’t care what they think, good for you! But, now ask yourself if you are okay doing this alone. {Of course you would have your husband’s SUPPORT but as any SAHM will tell you, you need more than just your man when it comes to the day-to-day grind of being home all day with kids.}
Now, ask yourself what type of SUPPORT will you need?
Do you just need the absence of random people verbally judging?
Or do you need actual phone calls from your mom saying, “Yay, you! You are amazing and your kids will be fabulous adults some day!”
Do you need physical SUPPORT from friends taking your kids for a day so you can go to the MD, carpooling to activities or swapping subjects to teach one another’s kids?
Are you an introvert and have no desire to make new friends but would be more than happy to join a FB Group with 30, 000 other homeschool moms?
Do you need your old friends to SUPPORT you by validating your friendship through frequent girls-nights-out?
Just like with SOCIALIZATION and FINANCES, the answers to the SUPPORT questions will look different for you than me {or anybody else}. The important thing is that you are honest with yourself as you take each of these things into consideration. It’s a big decision but the time, effort and energy spent will be well worth it!
Great article!I didn’t know that there’s so much consideration and detailed planning about home schooling. Socialization is a big factor and I’m glad you pointed it out as some people think that you have no life at all.
Sometimes I wish the misconception that homeschoolers don’t get out and do anything was real, ha ha! It can be exhausting to do school at home AND then socialize outside. But it’s worth it.
When our kids were little, the thought of Homeschooling terrified me. I opted the traditional public school route. But now that they’re in their thirties (and thriving), I think, I could have done that! Thanks for the great no-nonsense look at the issue. Parents need to ask themselves these questions. You laid it out perfectly.
Thanks for the kind words!
Great article and very detailed. I think you give anyone planning to home school a lot to consider. The support piece is something I would not have considered, but is obviously very important.
It is indeed an important piece. Nobody should do it alone.
I loved homeschooling my boy but he loves school so much more! Iām glad I had the opportunity because I learned I could do it !
Knowing what is best for our kids is most important. I’m glad he is thriving at school!
Great list and tips for a parent to take into consideration to home school. Home schooling was not in the cards for me when my kids where small. It takes a lot of work and commitment. Thanks for sharing.
Thanks for info should we consider homeschooling!!
Thanks for sharing your thoughts. Happy to come across your site. We are contemplating if we will be homeschooling our 4 year old this coming school year.
I’m glad you found the post and hope it helped with your upcoming decision!
nicely written article with good questions to ask…. I was thinking though that those single homeschool folks might feel like that can’t do without “the spouse”. but as a married homeschooler I don’t know how to answer that one either… but something I think on occasionally. š
Good point. I know of many single homeschoolers who make it work….but I am sure it’s loads and loads of work! But trying to HS as a married person without the support of your husband is just a disaster waiting to happen.