Does your family celebrate Halloween?
This can be a contentious topic among the general population of conservative Christians.
It gets debated in FaceBook groups. It gets argued about by different denominations. It even results in heated disputes within the same church family.
It ranks up there with Santa Claus and Harry Potter for topics that cause some Christians to feel judged by their fellow {usually like-minded} believers.
Reasons for not celebrating vary but usually center around words like death, darkness and demons.
James 2:19 is often quoted as the Biblical standing to not celebrate.
But, when people ask me why we don’t celebrate, I give them one very simple statement…
“My husband does not want us to celebrate Halloween.”
Even before we were engaged, Charlie told me that any future family of his would not celebrate Halloween.
He took the time to explain to me why and he answered all of my questions on the topic, but, I’m not going to share any of that with you.
He quoted Scripture. He felt convicted on the topic. What he said made sense to me at the time {and it still does}, but if you want to engage in a debate with me about why we don’t celebrate Halloween, all I am going to say is
“My husband does not want us to celebrate Halloween.”
I know many firmly-grounded Christian families that do.
Heck, I grew up celebrating Halloween.
Double heck, so did Charlie!
But our son, who is now 12, has never dressed up and knocked on doors for candy, has never carved a jack-o-lantern and has never even attended a single Harvest Celebration or Trunk-or-Treat.
My husband’s desire never to celebrate the holiday extends to not wanting to mimic it either so we steer clear of it all.
Instead, we hide in the basement, watch movies and eat pizza and candy. It’s a rather fun family tradition that we all enjoy.
I’ll admit, it was harder when our son was younger and everybody {from the waitress taking our order to the eye doctor giving an exam} would ask what he was going to be for Halloween.
There were even a few years when we basically avoided all social activities in October because it seemed that everybody, including the library, MOMS Club, MOPS and the local Rec Center planned their crafts and experiences around the topic of Halloween.
There were some awkward exchanges between my closest friends because I’m sure they felt I was a party pooper, or worse, judged by our choice. I used to fumble for responses and replies. I often did whatever I could to avoid the topic altogether.
But, as each October has come and gone, I’ve grown more confident in the topic and finally found the perfect reply when people would ask about our holiday plans…
“My husband does not want us to celebrate Halloween.”
It’s not a cop-out. It’s not passing the buck. It’s not avoiding confrontation. It’s simply the truth and, if anything, it shows that devotion to your spouse and a unified front of both parents are more important than any cultural traditions, fun holidays or seasonal activities.
How about you? Is there something your family does {or does not do} because one spouse feels strongly on the subject?
One thing that we do that most people do not is we try to” keep the sabbath day holy” meaning on Sunday we do not go out to eat, grocery shop, watch movies, yard work, or spend any money. We try to make it a family day with church and family activities that we do at our house. It may be weird to everyone else but we think it is a time for us to focus on the Christ and teach our children and forget about the world.
I think there is a space where people can celebrate cultural traditions and still honor their religious beliefs. We’ve found that space for us and we enjoy all the major holidays including Halloween. But I think each family needs to decide those things for themselves and that is the beauty of living in the US…you get to make those choices and not be persecuted for it. It’s good you’ve been able to back it up and as long as you can have the conversation with your kids, it’s a choice
Indeed! We found a space too. At first my husband said “no squash or gourds at all!” But we discussed that and landed in a space that allows autumn decor {but no Jack-o-Lanterns or anything Halloween-related.}
Families have to make decisions with the Lord’s guidance based on what they feel is best for them personally. We definitely don’t decorate with creepy decor! I just think it’s tacky, anyway! I explained to my children that our family doesn’t decorate with scary things, but we love fall pumpkins and flowers! My children are going to a trunk or treat this year at an assisted living home because we have a family member there. I consider it more of a fall activity, and it’s not even on Halloween night.
Exactly! Enjoy your trunk or treat experience! {And we do fall decor too….autumn is actually my favorite season because of the colors and “feel”}
My feelings are it is your family and you have the right to celebrate or not celebrate however you want. I love the idea that you have a traditional family day where you get to enjoy each other in place of Halloween. I mean who can deny watching movies and eating pizza and candy.
Yep! And same for you….whatever your family wants to do is best for you!
I’m so glad that your family has found a way to celebrate your togetherness with your own tradition that makes everyone happy, and I’m glad that your husband made his expectations clear prior to marriage so you were able to make an informed decision! Good job on communication!
I applaud your devotion and respect your decision. That is all I wanted to say. 🙂
Thanks!
“…we hide in the basement, watch movies and eat pizza and candy. It’s a rather fun family tradition that we all enjoy. ”
The great thing about doing this is that you can literally do this any time you want…and not just once a year. Plus, the memories and nostalgia of these simple moments will far outnumber those of costumes and trick-or-treating.
Well, I left out the part that it’s ALL YOU CAN EAT pizza and candy that night, which we don’t allow on other movie nights. 🙂
Props to you for focusing on what is best for your family. It’s never easy to go against the norm of society. I love your idea of watching movies in the basement!
No, it’s not but it does draw us closer as a family and will. hopefully, empower our son to go against peer pressure when it arises in the future.
That’s awesome that you are committed to honoring your husbands wishes and I am sure he does the same for you.
Usually…. 😉
I wouldn’t consider it “celebrating”, but we do let our kids dress up. Although, they do that all year long. 😉
Your choice of whether to celebrate or not is just that. You and your family’s choice. Good for you and your family that this issue was discussed and communication open in regard to it.
Sounds like you have a great family tradition on that evening… a fun alternative!
I am not married, but I grew up celebrating Halloween in a Christian Family. When I had kids I decided that we would not celebrate. We did go to the Harvest Party each year. Our local Papa Murphy take and bake offered free cookie dough on Halloween. So we celebrated, Papa Murphy Free Cookie Dough Day! LOl. Every year my kids would dress up in something not scary or gory, and we would go get Pizza and free cookie dough. We would come home and watch movies or play board games. It was a blast.
I think it is important to honor the convictions of a spouse, and I appreciate your post.
Your devotion is great! Every family is different as is celebrations. There are many things we choose not to celebrate and for various reasons. Thank you for sharing your story!
Thanks! I firmly believe that every family needs to do what’s best for them!
I respect your husband’s standards. We had kids in school that didn’t celebrate Halloween and my kids have friends now that don’t. I understand the reason. My husband is not a fan either.
I applaud your willingness to take your husband’s feelings into consideration. We all have our own thing that may be judged, but that’s the great thing about having free will to raise our family like we want. 🙂
Just because it works for others doesn’t mean it works for you. My family is a devout Christian and growing up I’ve never heard of Halloween. We spend it on different ways like yours. We cook a feast and do parlour games.
Everyone should respect each other’s culture and beliefs. I’m with you on this Katie!
I absolutely respect your decisions as a family to not celebrate this “holiday”. And as a Christian couple I think your response is more than reasonable. Besides it sounds to me like you’ve created an awesome family tradition that everyone will remember for ever!
To each his own, right? That’s great that you were able to have the conversation with your husband and felt that he felt strongly enough that you were okay going along like that as well. Sounds like you guys have a great family tradition instead, and good for you.
This is what makes the world go around. We each have our own beliefs and lives, and how we choose to live is no one else’s concern. Enjoy, it sounds like a fun tradition.
You do you and enjoy your family time. You’ve come up with a fun way to spend the evening together and that’s the important thing. My family is HUGE on having fun Halloween parties and my youngest grandchild was even born on Halloween, much to her delight now. We all experience life the best way that we can and no one has to defend their choices. It only has to make sense to us. Enjoy your pizza and candy night! And I’ll enjoy my big family party.
My husband and I have similar upbringings and beliefs, so there really isn’t something that we do because of what the other one thinks. We don’t really do Halloween, neither of us celebrated as kids. However, we have what we call a Harvest Party, and it’s just a big excuse for everyone to get together and eat. It’s one of the few times each year that all of our friends get together together. Noone dresses up either.
I have a question, I have been a Christian my whole life and celebrated a cheesy version Halloween every year including creative homemade costumes and candy treats. My husband and I have 3 children ages 4,9, and 11 who also have celebrated the watered down version of Halloween their whole lives. My husband is a new Christian and has now all of a sudden decided that he no longer wants to celebrate Halloween and all of its traditions “rooted in evil”. He is being very adamant about it. My question is how can I manage the fact that our children have been participating in these activities their whole lives and now he’s trying to cancel all of it from now on?
As tough as it is to think about breaking their little hearts, I would just tell them you won’t be celebrating that day in that way anymore. They’ll be fine as long as you present it in a respectful, agreeable way…and especially if you offer some sort of fun new alternative. I would obviously be sure your husband agrees with the alternative prior to presenting it to the kids so as not to double-disappoint. To me, the most important part here is that you do two things: 1.Show solidarity to your husband with your kids, even if you do not fully understand his change of heart and 2.Own the fact that while they might be disappointed, nobody will die if they miss out on Halloween. The bigger deal you make of it, the harder it will be for them.
It’s not taking something away, it’s following what your husband believes God wants your family to do.
We don’t celebrate Halloween Either.
I actually mark it as Family night on my Calendar & we eat pizza and watch Christian Movies that night.