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Stop saying, “WE’RE ALL JUST DOING OUR BEST,” because I’m not! Are you?

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This is not your normal warm and fuzzy “Mother’s Day” post but hopefully, it’ll make you laugh a lot and think at least a wee bit.

But even if does neither, be sure to enter the amazing giveaway at the bottom!

{Amazing = $100 gift cards x 4!}

I wish moms would just stop saying, “We’re all just doing our best,” because I’m certainly not! Are you?

I heard it again just yesterday. Or, rather, I saw it several times in a series of comments in a FaceBook group for homeschooling moms.

“She’s just doing her best.”

“Stop. The Mommy Wars. We’re all doing the best we can.”

“We need to show more support for one another. We’re doing our best!”

And, yet, I wonder, “are we?”

I know for darn certain that I AM NOT.

Sure, I have some uber duber super duper days.

I usually take charge of Monday and own it like a boss.

I’m up early. My lesson plans are all prepped. The kitchen is spotless. The laundry is whirling away. The carpets are vacuumed. The kid is on task. Nobody is yelling or crying. I’m even dressed (including a bra) and actually answer the door when the UPS man arrives. I have meals planned. It’s all good. I AM DOING MY BEST!

But, by Thursday little of that fabulousness remains. No bra. No home-cooked meals. No clean carpets. Those things have been replaced with short tempers from everybody, Hot Pockets for lunch and Hulu in the middle of the day.

I KNOW how to own my days. I KNOW what it means to do my best. I do! I did it on Monday and Tuesday…some weeks I even rock Wednesday too.

So, what happened? It’s not like I forgot. And, truth be told, it’s not like anything changed. I just got tired and, frankly, more than a wee bit lazy. While sitting on the couch in my day pajamas, I will contemplate all I need to do but am NOT doing. I have the time. I have the knowledge. I just don’t have the energy. Or the desire. Or the gumption. I’m not sure what to call it.

Call it whatever you want, but it sure isn’t  MY BEST.

Now, I know most moms, ESPECIALLY homeschool moms, have way more on their figurative plates than I do* with more kids and actual jobs but I still wonder if “we’re all just doing our best.” I honestly believe that, for the most part, the truth is we’re not.

WE ARE NOT DOING OUR BEST.

If you rang my doorbell on Thursday at 1:30pm, you’d probably find me braless and drinking coffee with unbrushed teeth and my hair in a blob on my head.  You’d find my kid wearing the same clothes that he wore to Youth Group the night before, eating Doritos while watching You Tube on the iPad. There’d be dishes in the sink, cat fur on the carpet and laundry on the kitchen table. 

Are any of those things HORRIBLE enough to warrant a call to Child Protective Services. Of course not. But, are they MY BEST?

Good golly, no. 

If I actually answered the door and let you in, I’d apologize for the messy everything and you’d brush it off and say, “Oh. It’s fine! You should see MY house. No worries. We’re all just doing our best.” And then we’d laugh and pretend that was true. 

But, if that was true, my Thursday would look like my Monday. 

If that was true, dry shampoo would not be on an auto order with Amazon.

If that was true, they would not recognize my car at the McDonald’s drive-thru.

If that was true, my husband would not need to remind me to put gas in my car before I run out again. 

If that was true, I wouldn’t avoid the bathroom scale like I do Walmart on a Sunday. 

If that was true, the kid would not have a pile of incomplete school work labeled “Summer Stuff”. 

Instead of saying, “You’re just doing your best,” maybe we need to be brave and bold and say, “While you binge watch The Handmaid’s Tale this weekend, why don’t you fold some laundry? Eight piles on the kitchen table really aren’t okay.  Everybody, including YOU, will appreciate it.”♥

Or instead of ignoring your child’s rude interruptive behavior at co-op because you’re “just doing your best” and taking a break while chatting with another homeschool mom, you actually break away from the conversation and redirect your child’s behavior.♦

Or perhaps instead of perusing Facebook for hours each day, you actually sit down and plan some meals. McDonald’s won’t be happy but your husband, bank account and BMI will be.♣

Now, I’m not saying we all need to start openly calling one another out on doing our best. I’m not saying that at all. That would do nothing but ramp up the Mommy Wars and create loads of resentful, angry women.

But, I AM suggesting that we start calling out OURSELVES. Ask yourself, “am I really doing my best?” 

And, MAYBE, after your answer is consistently “YES!” you can then broach the subject with your BFF. Maybe. 

*{It’s tough to beat how much I have on my literal plate though! I LOVE food!} 

♥{True story, basically but with a different series every weekend since I finished Handmaid’s Tale long ago.}

♦{Totally true story except for the days I was teaching co-op because it’s hard to gossip with other moms while teaching a group of kids.}

♣{Oh my! 100% true story but with Freddy’s and Q’Doba mixed in too.}

NOW, FOR THE GIVEAWAY

Mother’s Day is right around the corner and a group of my blogging friends and I would like to make your day a little extra special because, whether you are doing your best every day or not, YOU DESERVE IT! 

We are giving away FOUR $100 gift cards to the place of your choice. The winner can pick from the following options – Hobby Lobby, Christianbook.com, grocery store of choice, or restaurant of choice. 

To enter for your chance to win, simply use the Rafflecopter form below to enter. Now I know that is quite a few entries, but each of these bloggers generously chipped in their own money to bring you this giveaway, so I hope you will take the time to do all of the entries; it will bless them in return. And hey, you might find a new favorite blogger to follow. 

Giveaway ends May 7th at 11:59pm EDT.  The winner will have 48 hours to respond to email to claim the prize. By entering this giveaway you will be added to the email lists of the participating bloggers. Please be sure to read the Terms & Conditions upon entering the giveaway. By entering the giveaway, you agree and acknowledge your understanding of the terms & conditions.

a Rafflecopter giveaway

Nine Ways ALEXA Has Improved Our Lives

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{This post may contain affiliate links. Please read our Disclosure Policy for details.} 

We’re a family of four and we have nine Alexas in our home. 

Four people with nine Alexas. 

That’s more than twice the number of Alexas than people! 

Why so many, you wonder?

Because having Alexa available in several rooms throughout the house has IMPROVED OUR LIVES IN MANY WAYS. 

We started with one Echo in the living room and were so impressed that we added eight more Alexas over the course of a few months. 

Our Alexa army currently includes the following…

a Dot on my vanity {Mama Wolfe}

a Dot in my mom’s suite {Train Gampen}

a Dot in our son’s bedroom  {The Lone Wolfe}

a Dot in our son’s playroom/office {The Ploffice}

a Dot in my husband’s home office {Alpha Wolfe}

an Echo in the basement family room {The Wolfe Den}

a Dot in my workspace in the basement {the Wolfe Sanctuary}  plus

a Dot in the boringly named Kitchen and an Echo in the Living Room. 

But, why so many?!?!?!

Alexa has way more to offer than just random trivia bits or info on what time the local grocery store closes. She has a long list of skills….so long that we have just begun to scratch the surface. 

Below are NINE WAYS ALEXA HAS IMPROVED OUR LIVES so far.  

ONE: {Alexa has TAUGHT us a lot.}

Our son, who will soon be 13, definitely uses Alexa more than anybody else in our family.  He is homeschooled and will ask Alexa for definitions of unknown words he comes across while reading. He checks his math problems {after he computes them on his own, of course}. He confirms correct spelling as he is writing. He even asks Alexa to read long Bible passages for Bible history.

But, he’s not the only one who uses Alexa to learn new things. If the family gets into a debate over a historical fact, some random bit of trivia or whether Columbus Day is a federal holiday, we ask Alexa to settle the debate.  All we have to do is say her name and ask the question. She instantly reports what she finds on the Internet. She has TAUGHT US A LOT!

BONUS: Anything that is asked of Alexa instantly appears in the app on my phone. So, if the 12 year old is seeking inappropriate information, I would instantly know. 

TWO: {Alexa has GIVEN us peace of mind.}

My elderly mother lives with us. and she has an Alexa next to her bed that she uses anytime she needs help. She can either drop in  on one of us and ask directly for help with something or she can make an announcement  which goes out to every Alexa in the house at the same time. Being able to easily ask for help when needed  has allowed her to have continued independence and GIVEN US PEACE OF MIND. 

BONUS: My mom also uses Alexa to help in other ways, including turning her lights on/off, setting timers, controlling her TV and more. 

THREE: {Alexa has DECREASED hollering.}

Our house is not huge but it is big enough that in order  to communicate with with one another, we used to do a lot of hollering. From room to room. From upstairs to downstairs. From one end of the house to the other. But, with Alexa’s drop in  feature, the hollering has come to a halt. Now, we just drop in  on one another. If I need to check on whether our son is showered and ready to roll, instead of hollering upstairs, I can just drop in  on him in his bedroom and gently ask. Or, if I’m in the kitchen and my husband is in his basement office but I want to find out if he wants meatloaf or burgers for dinner, I don’t need to scream. I can just drop in  on him and ask {or remind him to take out the trash, hang the Christmas lights, call the plumber….} So, Alexa has DECREASED HOLLERING and increased calm conversations. 

BONUS: Whomever you drop in  on cannot ignore you and pretend they don’t hear your question. When you drop in,  it opens a two-way conversation so you instantly hear everything in the other room while the other room can also hear you. It truly allows for calm two-way conversations. 

FOUR: {Alexa has ORGANIZED our lives.}

Alexa is amazing at organizing things. She can make lists, set reminders and assign chores. And she does all of those things with a simple command.

Our son is actually pretty good at doing his daily chores but struggles to remember things that are only required of him once or twice weekly. But by assigning “trash” and “dog doo” to his chores, Alexa reminds him {instead of me nagging him}. She even offers him praise when he completes the chore. 

She can also keep track of grocery lists and tasks  to do. From anywhere in the house, I can simply ask Alexa to “add peanut butter to my grocery list” and she does. Or, if I’m brushing my teeth in the downstairs bathroom and suddenly remember that I need to change the kid’s dentist appointment, I can ask her to add that to my tasks  for tomorrow and she does. I’ve always been a fairly organized person, but Alexa has ORGANIZED OUR LIVES even more so!

BONUS: She has an amazing listening range and can pick up commands even when not in the same room.

FIVE: {Alexa has SAVED us time.}

One of my favorite ways to use Alexa is to ask her for weather and news updates  while I am getting dressed to start the day. When I use my phone to check for those details, I always get sucked into the blackhole of FaceBook or get stuck swapping texts back and forth with a friend. But, with Alexa, I can easily listen to a quick weather report  or news update  while still putting on makeup or getting dressed. It’s as easy as can be and has saved me countless precious minutes each morning. And who doesn’t want to SAVE TIME? 

SIX: {Alexa has REVAMPED our sleeping habits.} 

We are a family of night owls, which means we find it hard to fall asleep at a decent time and then struggle to wake up early in the morning.  But Alexa has helped us REVAMP OUR SLEEPING HABITS. Our son’s personalized playlist  helps him fall asleep each night and his alarm  wakes him each morning.

I don’t like to sleep to music but I utilize Alexa in a different way each night. I like to read in bed until I feel sleepy but now I use Alexa to read to me! All I have to do is ask her to read my choice from the Audible Library. She uses her soothing voice to read the next chapter of my book until I feel sleepy enough to finally fall asleep. All I have to do is say, “Alexa, stop” and she does. 

BONUS: From the app, I can change the volume of my son’s music or stop it completely after he falls asleep. I can also verify that his alarm is set, change the time of his alarm or cancel the alarm altogether. She also offers several different types of alarms. Some are downright hilarious {Sharknado!} And you can even ask her to wake you up with your personalized playlist. 

SEVEN: {Alexa has ENHANCED our days.}

Our son loves to listen to music…while he works, while he plays and even while he sleeps and having Alexa and unlimited Amazon Music  has been a game-changer for him.  It does not matter if he is doing his school work on the couch, at his desk or in the basement, he is able to access an unlimited array of songs instantly. Not only can he listen to some upbeat tunes during his math lesson, he can also listen to various samples of whatever classical composer we are studying at the time. He can even access the songs we use to memorize Scripture. The offerings on Amazon Music  are truly vast and the instant access to such a variety of music has ENHANCED OUR DAYS in a big way. 

BONUS: With the Alexa app, I can control the volume, stop the song and filter his choices. It also shows me everything he has listened to {in the off chance I did not HEAR it firsthand, ha ha!}

EIGHT: {Alexa has CREATED a peaceful space.}

This one might be unique to just our family but, I can definitely say that Alexa has CREATED A PEACEFUL SPACE for this Mama!  Our son has a Ploffice for his school work and elaborate Lego collection. My husband has a home office in the basement. My mom has a large suite with loads of privacy. But, until I carved out a little sanctuary in the storage area of the basement, complete with comfy chair, big desk and Alexa, I did not have a work space to call my own. But, now I have a private, quiet, peaceful place to work on blog posts and TpT products.    And because Alexa is a part of that equation, I can work diligently in my little sanctuary without feeling guilty for shirking my household duties or concerned that our son is ignoring his school work. My mom can reach me if she needs something. Our son can too. 

NINE: {Alexa has INCREASED family time.}

The best thing Alexa has done for our family is INCREASE FAMILY TIME.

Between jamming to tunes while cleaning the house together and reminiscing about the “old” music my husband used to listen to, Alexa has used music to INCREASE FAMILY TIME. 

Then you add in the GAMES that she offers, with or without game buttons, and Family Game Night has taken on a whole new dimension. 

For a family Christmas gift, I plan to get an Echo Show for the kitchen so we can easily pull up recipes, catch the news and watch lunch-time documentaries!

My husband uses the Alexa app to drop in on the entire house on his way home from work. This allows us to put away the school work, quickly pick up any messes and be ready to greet him when he walks in the door. This habit has changed the dynamics of weekday evenings for the better in an immense way. 

And with the increased communication throughout the house {including cutting into the gaming headphones}, making plans to spend more time together has never been easier. 

And that’s something that everybody deserves! 

 

 

 

 

The RARE REASON Our Family Doesn’t Do Santa

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As anybody who is on FaceBook or part of any “moms group” knows, whether your family  does or doesn’t do Santa can be a hot-button topic. I’m an Admin for a large homeschool moms group on FaceBook and we even had to create two separate threads {Pro-Santa/No-Santa} because the two camps could not discuss their differences nicely.  But, while we all know Santa discussions can lead to drama, did you know that there are several reasons that people claim for not doing Santa?

LYING TO OUR KIDS Not sure how or why the vast majority of the western world decided to band together to lie to our kids about this jolly, fat man and his magical capabilities. But, sure enough, you’ll find ALL walks of life agreeing to continue this childhood conspiracy. It does not matter where people land in the spectrum of most defining categories: finances, education, race, politics, gender, location, social beliefs…

Most people in the western world lie to our kids about Santa. And it’s not just us lying to our own kids. We actually EXPECT others to lie to our kids too. Phone calls are made to the principal if some bratty kid on the playground breaks the news to Santa-believers. It’s common practice for the Wal-Mart check out lady to perpetuate the lie to our kids by asking what they asked for from Santa. Classroom teachers cannot discuss their own religious beliefs with their students, but, by golly, they better lie to them about the fat man in the red suit. 

But, as bizarre as the lying is, that is not why we don’t do Santa in our home. 

JESUS IS THE REASON FOR THE SEASON Another reason, which is more often discussed in my circle of friends, is the fact that allowing Santa to be a part of Christmas takes away from the real reason for the season: celebrating the birth of Jesus Christ. 

Now this reason can be {and often is} debated back and forth among conservative Christians even within the same denomination. The basic argument is that Santa and all of the gift-giving hullabaloo simply distracts from Jesus. And, anything that distracts from our focus being on the world’s Savior is not glorifying to God. It’s kinda hard to argue against that basic stance, though people do. 

But, that’s not the reason we don’t do Santa in our home either. 

SANTA IS CREEPY This one is only occasionally thrown out there as a reason not to do Santa but it certainly deserves a quick mention. After all, when you think about it, what Santa supposedly does in our lives is totally creepy and downright illegal. He “knows if you’ve been good or bad” and he sneaks into our homes while we are sleeping and leaves suspicious packages behind. If Santa isn’t a terrorist leaving behind explosive devices wrapped in red and green packages, then at the very least, he is a dirty old man watching our kids’ every action. In what universe is that NOT creepy? Apparently, this one. 

And, yet, even that is not the reason we do not do Santa.

None of the reasons above are why we do not do Santa. 

Our reason is very simple: Santa is not God.

Santa is not God but we give him god-like capabilities and ask our kids to believe them.

But Santa is not God. 

Santa cannot perform miracles.

Santa cannot read our minds.

Santa cannot control the physical capabilities of animals.

Santa cannot harness magic and make time stop enough for him to drop down chimneys across the globe in less than 24 hours. 

Santa cannot do any of that and yet we tell our kids he can.

But he cannot.

No man can.

Only God can.

And, Santa is not God. 

Now before you raise your voiceless thoughts at me and explain that believing in Santa is no different than believing in Super Man, mysertious wardrobes or toothless Night Fury dragons, let me stop you. Unless you are actually telling your kids that Super Man ACTUALLY EXISTS and will be saving the day just as soon as he changes clothes in a nearby phone booth* or that the closet has the true capability of transporting your kid to Narnia, then, no, it’s not the same thing. 

Our family firmly believes in the beauty of the imagination. Our son has read the entire Chronicles of Narnia and has watched every Star Wars, Marvel and HTTYD movie. He likes to build made-up animals with Legos and write creative stories about crazy creatures. He used to ask his 85 year old Gampen to dress up  like a puppy and command her to do tricks as if he were a dog trainer. Having, nurturing and using an imagination is not only a good thing, it’s a vital part of being a kid and growing into a functional adult. 

But when we tell our kids that there is an actual person who uses magic powers to accomplish all that Santa supposedly does, we are not simply supporting their imagination. 

We ARE making Santa into a god. 

We ARE equating Santa to the one and only true God. 

Santa cannot perform miracles.  Only God can.

Santa cannot read our minds.  Only God can.

Santa cannot stop time. Only God can.

How can we justify telling our kids that Santa is a real entity with God-like powers in the same breath that reads the Bible at bed-time and glorifies the fact that ONLY GOD can move mountains, perform miracles and save us from ourselves?

We can try to deny that it’s confusing to our kids, after all, you were raised with Santa and you turned out okay. Right? Me too! 

But, my brother didn’t. He’s a great person, dedicated father and a loving husband. But, he’s not a Christian. He’s not saved. Is Santa to blame? I don’t know. My brother certainly doesn’t point to Santa Claus when he repeatedly explains to my parents why he doesn’t “buy into that Jesus stuff.” But, perhaps deep-down somewhere there is a kernel of doubt that festers in his heart because what my parents said about God simply didn’t square with what they said about Santa. I don’t know. But, believe me, if that is even .000001% of the reason my brother isn’t a believer and my parents could go back and change their approach to Santa, they would.   

Why would we intentionally create a potential stumbling block for our kids when we can avoid it? Christmas can be plenty fun without doing Santa. Our family has loads of Christmas traditions and has made tons of wonderful memories. We enjoy all of the festivities with a giant {REAL} tree, too much food, loads of decorations, tons of presents and as many Christmas carols as Alexa can throw at us.

We even have Santa stuff in our home. We have stockings that are always overstuffed. We watch Elf and sing about Rudolph.  I have a collection of Father Christmas figurines from around the globe. We make and frost Santa shaped cookies. Santa is definitely a part of the holiday but we treat him like a fictional character at the center of a holiday story. That’s it. Why?

Our reason is very simple: Santa is not God.

 

 

 

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