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The Wolfe Pack {Reviews~Resources~Suggestions~Support for the Discerning Homeschool Mom}

providing the discerning homeschool mama with support on her journey

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The Many Unexpected Benefits of a Homeschool Co-Op {Three: SWEARWORDS and INAPPROPRIATE SLANG}

June 28, 2020 by Katherine Wolfe 1 Comment

Of all of the installments in our series, The Many Unexpected Benefits of a Homeschool Co-Op, this one, SWEARWORDS and INAPPROPRIATE SLANG, is probably the strangest. 


If you haven’t read the first two installments in the series, you can find them here:

BRATS and BULLIES

FAILURES and FRUSTRATIONS


But, SWEARWORDS and INAPPROPRIATE SLANG, is my favorite. 

And here’s why.

Our kids, as much as we might want to raise them in a protective bubble, are going to be exposed to things we’d prefer they never experienced,  including SWEARWORDS and INAPPROPRIATE SLANG. 

Whether they hear SWEARWORDS and INAPPROPRIATE SLANG 

on the TV, 

while out shopping,

in line at the movie theater,

from the neighborhood children,

at your favorite family restaurant or

during Thanksgiving dinner {thanks to Uncle Bob,}

the fact remains, they are going to hear it. 

For example, my son, when he was about eight-years-old, participated in an Auto Basics class where he was taught several cool car things by a co-op father who happened to be a truck driver. It was a GREAT class and I am very grateful that he was able to learn so many handy things from a professional. But, he also learned some EXTRA things too!

During the session where the father taught them how to change a tire, every student took turns loosening the nuts in order to remove the tire. The kid who was next in line was in charge of holding the nuts and then when it was his turn, he passed them to the person behind him to hold. 

If you can see where this is going, your knowledge of INAPPROPRIATE SLANG is far more advanced than my son’s was for sure, because every time one kid would pass the nuts to the next kid, he would say, “here, hold my nuts” and laughter would erupt from everybody BUT MY SON. The truck-driving father, not used to handling a bunch of kids and with his head beneath the car the entire time, didn’t even notice the joke or the laughter. The moms on duty, on the other hand, did and put a stop to it as best they could. 

Then, after the class was over and we were headed home, my son asked me what had been so funny. So, I explained what the kids were referring to, that it’s really not a polite term to use and that if he had more questions, he could ask his father {I figured he could do a better job on the topic.}

Later that night, the wife of the truck driver called me and apologized for what happened {less for the fact that her husband missed the issue and more for the fact that her son was one of the kids involved.} Though I appreciated the phone call, I explained that there was nothing to apologize over. I was glad the situation had occurred just as it did. Why?

Because, in all honesty, I don’t want my kid to be the one in the college dorm bathroom not understanding some hallmate’s INAPPROPRIATE SLANG reference to his genitalia. Seriously. I’d rather he have learned it at 8 than 18. AND, more importantly,  I’m glad he learned it while I was standing there so I could explain things more appropriately in private. 

Let me give you another example. This occurred with the same group of boys, but this time my precious son was the offender.

During a rowdy version of a review game in his history co-op class, when my son lost to be buzzer in a 1:1 match, he actually called his opponent a bastard!

I’m not kidding. He was eleven at the time. And he called one of his friends a bastard. And he did it in front of 15 kids, three other moms and myself. Um, yeah. Bastard. 

Turns out, he learned the word from a Marvel movie {thanks, Thor}. He knew that it was to be used in reference to when your enemy beat you but didn’t have a clue that it was not to be repeated. I’m not sure if there were kids present who didn’t know the word already, but if there were, they can thank our co-op for the extra bit of education that day. 

And you can be sure that I was the one making apology phone calls later that night. 

I’m a list-maker and curriculum-junkie so I LOVE to plan out our lessons, including life lessons like cooking, sewing, banking, cleaning, etc. But, believe me when I say, SWEARWORDS and INAPPROPRIATE SLANG is NOT something I’ve planned out and written lesson plans for. So, if our son is going to learn {OR USE} them anywhere, our homeschool co-op is my preferred place. 

I have loads of examples but don’t really want to list them here in black and white {and green.} Plus some of what we consider inappropriate, others don’t {crap, for example}. But, that just makes my point all the more valid. 

When learning what is socially appropriate and acceptable, I’m really glad our son has been able to do that in the comfort and safety of our homeschool co-op. Because what better way to stumble {or watch others do the same} than with protective mamas standing there making sure things don’t get out of hand and who can address things more in-depth at home?

So, as bizarre as it sounds, maybe your family needs to join a homeschool co-op, so your kids can learn all the latest SWEARWORDS and INAPPROPRIATE SLANG?


Want some help teaching your kids how to identify and be a good friend? Check out my Friendship and Virtues Lesson Plan Pack! It’s PERFECT for a Co-Op class!

Filed Under: Co-op, SUGGESTIONS Tagged With: Benefits of Homeschool Co-Op, Co-ops, Homeschool, Homeschool co-ops, life lessons, Socialization

The Many UNEXPECTED BENEFITS of a Homeschool Co-op {Two: FAILURES and FRUSTRATIONS}

June 28, 2020 by Katherine Wolfe 2 Comments

Both veteran and novice homeschoolers often wonder if a co-op is the right choice for their families. The topic is hotly debated in homeschool groups and within local communities.  It can even cause strife among friends and family members. But just like the decision to homeschool or not, the decision to participate in a co-op can only be made by each individual family.

Are you trying to decide whether to participate in a homeschool co-op? If so, this series is perfect for you! 

The Many Unexpected Benefits of a Homeschool Co-Op  explores the not-so-often discussed benefits that your family can gain by participating in a homeschool co-op. 

This installment of the series, 

FACING FAILURES and FRUSTRATIONS with YOUR KIDS, 

speaks to how a homeschool co-op can force us, as parents, to put our kids in situations that cause frustrations and feelings of failure. 

You’re probably wondering why I would suggest we do such a thing?

Why should we put our kids into situations that cause frustrations and feelings of failure?

Let me explain…


If you haven’t read the first installment in the series, you can find it here:

The Many Unexpected Benefits of a Homeschool Co-op: BRATS and BULLIES


 

As a parent, it is so easy to

indulge, 

coddle, 

cater to,

oblige, 

enable,

and even

spoil our kids.

Few of us will readily admit that we do this but we all know how easy it is to do!

We fix the food they like. 

We purchase clothes they will wear. 

We don’t force them to watch movies or read books they find scary.

We let them pick and choose in which sports/activities to participate.

And as homeschool parents, the opportunities to indulge, coddle, cater to, enable and spoil our kids are multiplied several times over.

We teach to their style.

We choose topics they like.

We allow them to work on the sofa.  

We let them wear pajamas all day long. 

We speed lessons up when the topic is easy.

We slow lessons down when they are struggling.

And, if they have a tantrum over math, we stop school for the day.

And then we make cookies together. 

And, why wouldn’t we? I mean, if we have the flexibility to allow our kids to experience the loveliest of days as often as possible, shouldn’t we?

I dare to say that probably many of us homeschool BECAUSE we want to create as many happy, peaceful, productive days for our kids as possible. 

But, as much as we may want to make their days as pleasant as possible, we cannot shield them from experiencing any unpleasantness at all. 

We just can’t. 

And, really,  we shouldn’t. 

Why? Because real life isn’t always pleasant and they need to know how to recognize, accept and respond to life’s unpleasant experiences. 

And FAILURES and FRUSTRATIONS are two of those unpleasant experiences that will occur throughout their lives.

And since our entire goal of parents should be to equip our kids with the necessary skills to live fulfilling, God-glorifying lives, we need to help them learn how to handle these frustrations now. 

So, why not create situations for them where they actually have to face FAILURES and FRUSTRATIONS with us  literally standing in their corners?

And the local homeschool co-op could be the perfect opportunity to do just that!

We were part of a local co-op for several years and during those years, we encountered

BRATS and BULLIES,

MAYHEM and MESSINESS, 

SEX TALK and SWEARWORDS,

and myriad of other life experiences.

And one of those others experiences that we encountered multiple times were feelings of FAILURE and FRUSTRATION. 

I’ll admit that the first time our son faced a FRUSTRATING experience at co-op {having to team up with an older, opinionated girl for an art activity,} I was tempted to swoop in and save the day. But, before I could make that mistake, his co-op teacher handled the situation by assessing the issue, encouraging communication and then closely monitoring that things were fine {and they were.}

And then, over the next few days,  my son and I talked about the experience and what had caused his FRUSTRATION. Because I was there to witness it, I was able to discuss it with him. He was able to explain that he hadn’t wanted to work with her because she’s “older, opinionated and a better artist” so he assumed he would have no say in the details of the project and, as is typical of young kids, he got FRUSTRATED before even giving the girl a chance. 

As hard as it was to watch his little five-year-old face furrow into an unhappy form with tears welling up, I am glad he had that FRUSTRATING experience at co-op. Why? Because it allowed him to learn something new about himself, his peers and life. I could not have created those same unequal collaborative circumstances for him at home. But our homeschool co-op certainly did!

And the FRUSTRATING experiences did not stop at that first one. There were many times he got FRUSTRATED over with which kids he had to work, for which assignments he was chosen,  how long he had to wait until his raised hand was recognized….but each one of those experiences allowed him the opportunity to grow and learn about himself and life in general. 

And when he experienced his first FAILURE at co-op {not being able to cut out several teeny tiny pieces for a music-themed lapbook,} I mostly wanted to {not-so-gently} tell the teacher who had planned the lesson that she had overestimated the scissor skills of her students. But, then I noticed that all of my son’s peers were able to accomplish the task without issue so I was wrong. She hadn’t misjudged anything; apparently we needed more practice with the scissors at home. 

So, that’s what we did. We worked on his scissor skills so he didn’t feel like a FAILURE the next week when he had to cut out more annoyingly teeny tiny pieces for another lapbook. And, I am so glad we did because, he definitely needed to work on those skills. But, I know myself and my tendency to avoid situations like that at home. So, I know I would not have made him face his lacking scissor skills at home because

he doesn’t enjoy projects like that, 

it’s not his learning style, 

and I hate lapbooks. 

{Side note: Am I the only homeschool mom on the planet who detests lapbooks? I get the purpose of being multi-sensory and all that, but they just require so much time-consuming, detailed work for one very specific topic. And for what? Where do you store them? You can’t display them. It’s not like a simple book that can be read over and over again. And all of the glued on pieces eventually fall off anyhow and the entire thing ends up in the trash.}

Other feelings of FAILURE occurred when he couldn’t tie his shoes fast enough in a relay, his classmate could not decipher his handwriting and his team lost at a math game. But witnessing those FAILURES allowed me to recognize things on which we needed to work at home. Observing my son in another setting {other than schooling at home} allowed me to view his progress with different eyes. 

FRUSTRATIONS and FAILURES like these occur in public school classrooms a thousand times each day,  but by the time most kids get home from school at 4:30pm, they’ve probably forgotten WHY they ever felt irritated and yet their little brains and hearts are still trying to process things.  So, they don’t mention it to Mom and they don’t try to explain it to anybody. They just act out and Mom chalks it up to the kid being tired, hungry or, worse yet, just ill-behaved.

And they don’t stop as our kids get older. In fact, dare I say they get worse? As our little ones grow into tweens and teens, ALL OF their feelings get more complicated so it’s probably safe to say their feelings of FRUSTRATIONS and FAILURES get more complicated too. And, now it’s not just that they don’t know how to formulate words for their feelings, they may not WANT to even try {because they’re teens and that’s what teens tends to do.}

FRUSTRATIONS and FAILURES like these also occur

at work, 

in college classes,

on community boards, 

within Bible Studies at church,

anywhere that people need to work together.

So, whether we like it or not, our kids WILL experience many FRUSTRATIONS and FAILURES in their lifetimes,  and therefore, need to know how to recognize, accept and respond to life’s unpleasant experiences. And they cannot learn how to do those things if they don’t have the opportunity to experience them. 

And since they don’t have the opportunity to face these FRUSTRATIONS and FAILURES in the public school setting, perhaps a homeschool co-op is the right choice for your family?


Click here for the next installment in this series, The Many Unexpected Benefits of a Homeschool Co-op: SWEARWORDS and INAPPROPRIATE SLANG


Want some help teaching your kids how to identify and be a good friend? Check out my Friendship and Virtues Lesson Plan Pack! It’s PERFECT for a Co-Op class!


 

Filed Under: Co-op, SUGGESTIONS Tagged With: Benefits of Homeschool Co-Op, Homeschool, Homeschool co-ops, life lessons, Socialization

Three LIFE LESSONS My Son Has Learned From Taking a Live Online Class

September 17, 2019 by Katherine Wolfe 2 Comments

My son began his 8th Grade year as a homeschooler this month. I’ve always designed his yearly curriculum using an eclectic approach, mostly with the intent of catering to his strengths while moving his weaknesses forward {sometimes we moved things along slower than I care to admit.}

As I was planning this school year, I finally forced myself to stop denying the fact that I only have five years left with him at home and decided it would be wise to consider what he will need for his High School transcript before making my curriculum selections. 

Considering he wants to major in Zoology in college, there are very specific math and science courses he needs to take in High School, which means there was some very specific prep work we needed to do this year.

We’ve always done a full school schedule that included math, science, history, language arts, writing, Bible as well as some additional electives. And, for the most part, I’ve felt more than capable of instructing him. Until now. With the weighted importance of High School looming just one year away, I decided that it was time to outsource a couple of the more important subjects that were beyond my personal skill set as a teacher. 

This realization lead me to enroll him in a live, online General Science class designed for Middle Schoolers. There are all sorts of online classes available in every subject imaginable with 1,000 different models and approaches. Some are laid-back and more fun than anything. Some are pre-recorded and “work at your own pace.” But I selected a rather rigorous course with a more traditional educational approach.

The class meets weekly for 90 minutes and there is substantial homework for the other four days. The entire experience consists of loads of reading,  hands-on experiments, timed tests, note-taking  and live lectures. 

In just three weeks of taking this class, our son has learned a tremendous amount. Way more than I could’ve successfully taught him using just the book, my ability to skim chapters and my penciled-out schedule.

In addition to learning about the history of science, how to form a hypothesis and how the scientific process both succeeds and fails, he has also learned some very valuable LIFE LESSONS in just three weeks. Lessons that he needed to learn. Lessons that would’ve been really hard to teach him on my own. Lessons that I didn’t know he needed. But, thankfully, lessons that this General Science class seems determined to teach him though I doubt the instructor planned as such. 

 


 

LIFE LESSON ONE: HOW TO RESPECT THE HONOR SYSTEM

Obviously with Mom as your teacher and being an only child, it’s pretty hard to lie and get away with saying you did your work when you didn’t. Even if you are a homeschool kid with six siblings, I think it would still be pretty hard to get away with lying about your work…certainly harder than if you were a public school kid with 29 other classmates to distract your teacher. 

But, as is common among some styles of live, online classes, students don’t have to submit proof that they finished every assignment. Sometimes they simply have to click a button that says, “Yes, I performed Experiment 2.3 and completed the lab report.” 

The first time this popped up as the way to submit his weekly assignment, my son clicked “yes” and then turned to me and asked “but how will my teacher know if I actually did it?” “Ummmmm,” I floundered a bit and then brilliantly said, “she won’t, but you will.”

ACTUALLY DOING THE WORK

And this opened up the opportunity for a discussion regarding the HONOR SYSTEM. We talked about how being dishonest will always hurt you to a degree, even if other people never find out.  And in circumstances that involve reading, learning, etc, it’s definitely going to hurt you in the long run.

Not only will it hurt because it can {hopefully} cause guilt and shame, but it will compound over time. If you don’t do the reading or complete the assignment, you aren’t learning the material. If you don’t learn the material, you won’t do well on the tests. But, more importantly, you have missed the opportunity to LEARN something new, GROW as a student and ADD to who you are. And then you chose to lie about it. 

We kept the conversation going and covered other parts of life where the HONOR SYSTEM might come into play. Will I know that he didn’t feed the dog when he said that he did? No, but his dog, CoCo, will know and she’ll be hungry. And it will be because he was not honest. 

Will the librarian know if he takes 4 books when the sign said “One free book per kid”? Not unless she’s watching. But the last three kids who want a free book will “know” because they won’t have a free book to take home. And, it will be because he was not honest. 

Will his college prof know that he hasn’t completed his individual assignments leading up to the major group project? No, but when it’s time for the group project to be turned in, his groupmates will know and their grade will suffer. And it will be because he was not honest. 

That’s a big LIFE LESSON that we were able to begin to tackle,  all thanks to his live, online general science class. 

 


 

LIFE LESSON TWO: HOW TO TAKE A TIMED, ONLINE TEST

This LIFE LESSON might seem nominally important compared to learning HOW TO RESPECT THE HONOR SYSTEM but, in today’s day and age, knowing HOW TO TAKE A TIMED, ONLINE TEST is most assuredly a LIFE LESSON that our kids need to master at some point. Whether it’s taking an online college course, trying to earn advantage points for a reduced health insurance premium or attempting to avoid a penalty after a speeding ticket, knowing how to negotiate an online test is pretty much imperative these days.  

For my son’s live, online class, he will need to take a total of 23 online tests. The first two tests are open-book and untimed but then he’ll need to transition to timed, close-booked tests.  Strangely enough, he was very excited to take the first test last week. In fact, he was so excited that he got up early and started his test at 8am on his own! But then he had to go to his volunteer job and didn’t return to the test for seven hours! So, by the time he completed the entire test, the exam clock had run for more than EIGHT HOURS.

THE AFTERNOON PORTION OF HIS FIRST TEST 😉

Of course, we emailed the teacher and explained the situation. She found it as humorous as we did and explained that she fully expects a learning curve for the procedures of the class. I’m just glad he has begun the mastery process of HOW TO TAKE A TIMED, ONLINE TEST now at the age of 12, as opposed to as an 18 year old in college {when his professor might not find it nearly as funny!}

 


 

LIFE LESSON THREE: HOW TO MANAGE HIS TIME

Our homeschool calendar has always been what I would term “firm, yet flexible.”  I plan out the entire year in advance and assign things by the week with the full expectation that my son will accomplish them within that time frame. But, I am also flexible in the sense that if life gets in the way, a certain subject is taking longer than expected or his teacher {aka: me} hasn’t quite finished printing the necessary pages, I can just break out my erasable pen and re-work the calendar. I have done this more times than I can count. 

But that’s not quite the case when enrolled in a live, online class. The assignment calendar is set at the start of the semester and provided to the entire class. Every student needs to keep up with the calendar or suffer the consequences of missed assignments and bad grades. 

As soon as I saw the calendar of assignments for my son’s class, I was reminded of my college days and the euphoric feeling that would come over me when I got my hands on a class syllabus for the first time. I LOVED knowing what was due when and plotting it out in my planner.  LOVED it. I’m sure that’s not true for some people. It certainly hasn’t been true for my son. Then again, he’s only 12. He’s got time to acquire that weird love of making a list of things to do and then crossing them off as you get them done. Maybe he’ll never develop a love of the syllabus and to do list like me but he does need to learn HOW TO MANAGE HIS TIME. 

And, what better way to learn it than through a live, online class? {It’s definitely a much better way than to have his mom, or worse yet, his future wife nagging him constantly.}

During the second week of the semester, there was a small hitch in our week. I don’t recall what it was. It doesn’t even matter what it was. The point is, my son did not get his science experiment done on Thursday as originally planned. Then, Friday was uber busy, as always, and there wasn’t any spare time to get the experiment done. So, guess what he had to do? Wake up early on Saturday morning and get the experiment done. 

SATURDAY MORNING SCIENCE

And that’s what he did. I won’t pretend there wasn’t at least a little whining and complaining about getting up early and doing school on a Saturday, but he did it. He knew that if he didn’t get it done on Saturday, he would be behind on his Monday and Tuesday assignments and would not be prepped for the live, online class on Wednesday afternoon. 

So, he got it done. He caught up by working on Saturday morning and learned a valuable LIFE LESSON…HOW TO MANAGE HIS TIME! 

 


 

Homeschool moms often find themselves doubting whether they are doing enough. I know that, over the past 9 years of homeschooling, I have doubted myself a lot. I have doubted whether I made the right curriculum choices. I have doubted whether I have allowed my math-hating kid to take math too slowly. I have doubted whether I shouldn’t have chalked up his horrible spelling skills to just not being a natural speller. 

But more important than worrying about his academics,  I have doubted whether I was giving my only child enough socialization. I have doubted whether we have focused on the right life skills. I have worried that I don’t even know everything that I need to teach {so how can I possibly make sure he learns it?}

But then I step back and take comfort in remembering that homeschooling is a journey. It takes a massive compilation of thousands of individual academic and life skills to create a fully functioning homeschool graduate.

For his 8th Grade year, in addition to Pre-Algebra, World Geography and the New Testament, my son is also learning how to do laundry, how to bake cookies/cakes and how to feed/care for bats, snapping turtles and mudskippers {that’s his volunteer job}. 

And, apparently, he is also learning HOW TO RESPECT THE HONOR SYSTEM, HOW TO TAKE A TIMED, ONLINE TEST and HOW TO MANAGE HIS TIME! {Not that I planned any of that, but I’ll gladly take it!}

 

o

Filed Under: SUGGESTIONS, Tips Tagged With: Homeschool, Homeschool moms, life lessons, life skills, online classes

The Many UNEXPECTED BENEFITS of a Homeschool Co-op {One: BRATS and BULLIES}

July 29, 2019 by Katherine Wolfe 29 Comments

Participating in a co-op is a hotly debated topic within the homeschool community and for good reason. It would seem that there are as many different styles of co-ops as there are curricula choices. Some are ultra-selective with strict rules and guidelines. Some are uber loose with barely a plan in place. Some are taught by nothing other than moms while others use paid professionals to teach classes. Some are taught in homes and others rent out classrooms. As the details vary, the pros and cons will too. 

But, this series, The Many Unexpected Benefits of a Homeschool Co-Op, goes beyond those differences and finds some of the unifying and unexpected benefits of homeschool co-ops. 

If  you are trying to decide whether to participate in a homeschool co-op this year and have been diligently making a list of pros/cons, don’t forget my favorite, yet rarely discussed, unexpected benefit of participating in a co-op:

EXPOSING YOUR KIDS to BRATS and BULLIES!

I know this sounds extreme but think about it.

As homeschool parents, we get to pick and choose nearly every aspect of our kids’ lives.

Where they go.

When they play.

What they learn.  

With whom they hang.

And, as the loving, supportive parents that we are, we try to always make the best choices for them.

We feed them healthy snacks.

We cater to their learning styles.

We keep them in safe environments.

We arrange playdates with kind, respectful kids.

But, as much as we may want to create a perfect world for our babes, we can’t.  But, more importantly, we shouldn’t.  Why? Because real life isn’t perfect. Without robbing them of a happy childhood or scarring them for life, I think it’s imperative that our kids understand that life is not perfect. 

It’s not perfect when they are nine years old and it won’t be perfect when they are twenty-nine. Not only are they are imperfect themselves, their lives will forever be filled with various imperfections. 

And one of life’s most prominent and persistent imperfections is people.

Untrustworthy people.

Annoying people.

Ignorant people.

Hurtful people.

Selfish people.

Rude people.

Do we want  our kids to experience anything other than wonderful, loving, supportive people? No, of course not.

But, are they going to experience bad people, despite our best wishes and fiercest intentions? Yes, for sure. 

So, they  might as well be introduced first to these types of people under our direct supervision and loving control. 

Blessedly, our babes don’t need to experience BRATS and BULLIES in the public school classroom or, worse yet, on the playground with overworked teachers and underpaid playground supervisors. 

Our kids can experience the BRATS and BULLIES of the world with their fiercest defenders at their sides…us!

What better way to first expose our kids to the BRATS and BULLIES of the world than with  us observing the interactions, guiding their responses and protecting the results? 

I’ll admit that the first time our son experienced his first BRAT at co-op, I was sad. We were new to town and excited to make friends at co-op. Unfortunately, it turned out that there was a real BRAT in his co-op class. Ya know, the kid who is rude to both adults and kids, makes everything a competition and then pouts when he doesn’t get his way.

As disheartening as that was, I was glad I was there to watch the BRAT emerge and observe my child’s reaction. We were then able to discuss the situation after and formulate a plan for future encounters. We remained in that co-op but we did not seek any sort of friendship outside with that particular child. My child learned that not every kid in his class models good behavior and is friend material. As simple as this lesson sounds, my sweet, loving kid had never met a peer that he did not consider an instant friend until this situation arose.

And a few years later when he encountered his first BULLY at co-op, I was simultaneously very angry about this kid’s behavior and strangely peaceful about it too. This kid was an emotional bully who belittled my child by creating an “inner circle” of cool kids and purposely excluding my son from interactions. This kid was definitely the Alpha of the entire group and all of the boys wanted to be his friends, including my son. Sadly.

My son tried for weeks. And was rejected each time. He wasn’t the only one on the outside of the BULLY’S inner circle. There were others on the receiving end of the “just kidding” jokes and shunned looks. There were others not invited to the birthday parties and left out of the secret handshakes. But because this BULLY was also smart, he behaved when most adults were watching, which meant my son was sometimes accepted into the group but then figuratively kicked out again when the BULLY thought no adult eyes were on him. 

But I was watching. After all, that’s my job and since I was at Co-Op with my son, I was able to watch! I watched it all take place and then I gently discussed it with my son after co-op each week. It took loads of rejections, lots of prayer, too many tears and countless discussions for my son to decide on his own that he didn’t want to be friends with the BULLY anyhow. He decided that the BULLY was not somebody worth the angst and agony he had caused week in and week out. He came to this conclusion on his own. And once he did, he was happy. He was free to pursue other friendships at co-op. He broke down the social order that the BULLY tried so hard to force on everybody by simple saying, “Nope! Not gonna play that dumb game.” 

And I could not have been more proud of my son, and grateful to that BULLY.

Why? Because he taught my kid a very valuable lesson at a young age

A lesson that many public school kids struggle to realize is being forced on them every day in the classroom and on the playground.  But one of which the teachers simply don’t have the time to be aware.  And, by the time these kids get home from school, they’re too exhausted and numb from trying to handle life on their own. It’s not even that they choose not to discuss their feelings with their parents; they don’t have the maturity to understand that something needs to be discussed. 

Thanks to that BULLY, my son learned a lesson at nine that some adults still have not learned. 

Because, let’s face it,  life is filled with BRATS and BULLIES. At work, In college. Next door. Even at church. Sadly, even in our own extended families. 

No matter the path your child will take as he meanders into adulthood, he is going to encounter both BRATS and BULLIES. Participating in a homeschool co-op could very well equip him to be ready to handle those issues with confidence and grace.


Click here for the next installment in this series, The Many Unexpected Benefits of a Homeschool Co-op: FAILURES and FRUSTRATIONS


Want some help teaching your kids how to identify and be a good friend? Check out my Friendship and Virtues Lesson Plan Pack! It’s PERFECT for a Co-Op class!


Filed Under: Co-op, SUGGESTIONS Tagged With: Benefits of Homeschool Co-Op, Co-ops, Homeschool, Homeschool co-ops, life lessons, Socialization

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