I wish moms would just stop saying, “We’re all just doing our best,” because I’m certainly not! Are you?

I heard it again just yesterday. Or, rather, I SAW it several times in a series of comments in a FaceBook group for homeschooling moms.

“She’s just doing her best,”

“Stop. The Mommy Wars. We’re all doing the best we can.”

“We need to show more support for one another. We’re doing our best!”

And, yet, I wonder, “are we?”

I know for darn certain that I AM NOT.

Sure, I have some uber duber super duper days.

I usually take charge of Monday and own it like a boss.

I’m up early. My lesson plans are all prepped. The kitchen is spotless. The laundry is whirling away. The carpets are vacuumed. The kid is on task. Nobody is yelling or crying. I’m even dressed (including a bra) and actually answer the door when the UPS man arrives. I have meals planned. It’s all good. I AM DOING MY BEST!

But, by Thursday little of that fabulousness remains. No bra. No home-cooked meals. No clean carpets. Those things have been replaced with short tempers from everybody, Hot Pockets for lunch and Hulu in the middle of the day.

I KNOW how to own my days. I KNOW what it means to do my best. I do! I did it on Monday and Tuesday…some weeks I even rock Wednesday too.

So, what happened? It’s not like I forgot. And, truth be told, it’s not like anything changed. I just got tired and, frankly, more than a wee bit lazy. While sitting on the couch in my day pajamas, I will contemplate all I need to do but am NOT doing. I have the time. I have the knowledge. I just don’t have the energy. Or the desire. Or the gumption. I’m not sure what to call it. 

Call it whatever you want, but it sure isn’t  MY BEST.

Now, I know most moms, ESPECIALLY homeschool moms, have way more on their figurative plates than I do* with more kids and actual jobs but I still wonder if “we’re all just doing our best.” I honestly believe that, for the most part, the truth is we’re not.

WE ARE NOT DOING OUR BEST.

If you rang my doorbell on Thursday at 1:30pm, you’d probably find me braless and drinking coffee with unbrushed teeth and my hair in a blob on my head.  You’d find my kid wearing the same clothes that he wore to Youth Group the night before, eating Doritos while watching You Tube on the iPad. There’d be dishes in the sink, cat fur on the carpet and laundry on the kitchen table. 

Are any of those things HORRIBLE enough to warrant a call to Child Protective Services. Of course not. But, are they MY BEST?

Good golly, no. 

If I actually answered the door and let you in, I’d apologize for the messy everything  and you’d brush it off and say, “Oh. It’s fine! You should see MY house. No worries. We’re all just doing our best.” And then we’d laugh and pretend that was true. 

But, if that was true, my Thursday would look like my Monday. 

If that was true, dry shampoo would not be on an auto order with Amazon.

If that was true, they would not recognize us at the McDonald’s drive-thru.

If that was true, my husband would not need to remind me to put gas in my car before I run out again. 

If that was true, I wouldn’t avoid the bathroom scale like I do WalMart on a Sunday. 

If that was true, the kid would not have a pile of incomplete school work labeled “Summer Stuff”. 

Instead of saying, “You’re just doing your best,” maybe we need to be brave and bold and say, “While you binge watch The Handmaid’s Tale this weekend, why don’t you fold some laundry? Eight piles on the kitchen table really isn’t okay.  Everybody, including YOU, will appreciate it.”♥

Or instead of ignoring your child’s rude interruptive behavior at co-op because you’re “just doing your best” and taking a break while chatting with another homeschool mom, you actually break away from the conversation and redirect your child’s behavior.♦

Or perhaps instead of perusing FaceBook for hours each day, you actually sit down and plan some meals. McDonald’s won’t be happy but your husband, bank account and BMI will be.♣

Now, I’m not saying we all need to start openly calling one another out on doing our best. I’m not saying that at all. That would do nothing but ramp up the Mommy Wars and create loads of resentful, angry women.

But, I AM suggesting that we start calling out OURSELVES. Ask yourself, “am I really doing my best?” 

And, MAYBE, after your answer is consistently “YES!” you can then broach the subject with your BFF. Maybe. 

*{It’s tough to beat how much I have on my literal plate though! I LOVE food!} 

♥{True story, basically but with a different series every weekend since I finished Handmaid’s Tale long ago.}

♦{Totally true story except for the days I was teaching co-op because it’s hard to gossip with other moms while teaching a group of kids.}

♣{Oh my! 100% true story but with Freddy’s and Q’Doba mixed in too.}