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The Many Unexpected Benefits of a Homeschool Co-Op {Three: SWEARWORDS and INAPPROPRIATE SLANG}

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Of all of the installments in our series, The Many Unexpected Benefits of a Homeschool Co-Op, this one, SWEARWORDS and INAPPROPRIATE SLANG, is probably the strangest. 

If you haven’t read the first two installments in the series, you can find them here:

BRATS and BULLIES

FAILURES and FRUSTRATIONS

But, SWEARWORDS and INAPPROPRIATE SLANG, is my favorite. 

And here’s why.

Our kids, as much as we might want to raise them in a protective bubble, are going to be exposed to things we’d prefer they never experienced,  including SWEARWORDS and INAPPROPRIATE SLANG. 

Whether they hear SWEARWORDS and INAPPROPRIATE SLANG 

on the TV, 

while out shopping,

in line at the movie theater,

from the neighborhood children,

at your favorite family restaurant or

during Thanksgiving dinner {thanks to Uncle Bob,}

the fact remains, they are going to hear it. 

For example, my son, when he was about eight-years-old, participated in an Auto Basics class where he was taught several cool car things by a co-op father who happened to be a truck driver. It was a GREAT class and I am very grateful that he was able to learn so many handy things from a professional. But, he also learned some EXTRA things too!

During the session where the father taught them how to change a tire, every student took turns loosening the nuts in order to remove the tire. The kid who was next in line was in charge of holding the nuts and then when it was his turn, he passed them to the person behind him to hold. 

If you can see where this is going, your knowledge of INAPPROPRIATE SLANG is far more advanced than my son’s was for sure, because every time one kid would pass the nuts to the next kid, he would say, “here, hold my nuts” and laughter would erupt from everybody BUT MY SON. The truck-driving father, not used to handling a bunch of kids and with his head beneath the car the entire time, didn’t even notice the joke or the laughter. The moms on duty, on the other hand, did and put a stop to it as best they could. 

Then, after the class was over and we were headed home, my son asked me what had been so funny. So, I explained what the kids were referring to, that it’s really not a polite term to use and that if he had more questions, he could ask his father {I figured he could do a better job on the topic.}

Later that night, the wife of the truck driver called me and apologized for what happened {less for the fact that her husband missed the issue and more for the fact that her son was one of the kids involved.} Though I appreciated the phone call, I explained that there was nothing to apologize over. I was glad the situation had occurred just as it did. Why?

Because, in all honesty, I don’t want my kid to be the one in the college dorm bathroom not understanding some hallmate’s INAPPROPRIATE SLANG reference to his genitalia. Seriously. I’d rather he have learned it at 8 than 18. AND, more importantly,  I’m glad he learned it while I was standing there so I could explain things more appropriately in private. 

Let me give you another example. This occurred with the same group of boys, but this time my precious son was the offender.

During a rowdy version of a review game in his history co-op class, when my son lost to be buzzer in a 1:1 match, he actually called his opponent a bastard!

I’m not kidding. He was eleven at the time. And he called one of his friends a bastard. And he did it in front of 15 kids, three other moms and myself. Um, yeah. Bastard. 

Turns out, he learned the word from a Marvel movie {thanks, Thor}. He knew that it was to be used in reference to when your enemy beat you but didn’t have a clue that it was not to be repeated. I’m not sure if there were kids present who didn’t know the word already, but if there were, they can thank our co-op for the extra bit of education that day. 

And you can be sure that I was the one making apology phone calls later that night. 

I’m a list-maker and curriculum-junkie so I LOVE to plan out our lessons, including life lessons like cooking, sewing, banking, cleaning, etc. But, believe me when I say, SWEARWORDS and INAPPROPRIATE SLANG is NOT something I’ve planned out and written lesson plans for. So, if our son is going to learn {OR USE} them anywhere, our homeschool co-op is my preferred place. 

I have loads of examples but don’t really want to list them here in black and white {and green.} Plus some of what we consider inappropriate, others don’t {crap, for example}. But, that just makes my point all the more valid. 

When learning what is socially appropriate and acceptable, I’m really glad our son has been able to do that in the comfort and safety of our homeschool co-op. Because what better way to stumble {or watch others do the same} than with protective mamas standing there making sure things don’t get out of hand and who can address things more in-depth at home?

So, as bizarre as it sounds, maybe your family needs to join a homeschool co-op, so your kids can learn all the latest SWEARWORDS and INAPPROPRIATE SLANG?

Want some help teaching your kids how to identify and be a good friend? Check out my Friendship and Virtues Lesson Plan Pack! It’s PERFECT for a Co-Op class!

The Many UNEXPECTED BENEFITS of a Homeschool Co-op {One: BRATS and BULLIES}

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Participating in a co-op is a hotly debated topic within the homeschool community and for good reason. It would seem that there are as many different styles of co-ops as there are curricula choices. Some are ultra-selective with strict rules and guidelines. Some are uber loose with barely a plan in place. Some are taught by nothing other than moms while others use paid professionals to teach classes. Some are taught in homes and others rent out classrooms. As the details vary, the pros and cons will too. 

But, this series, The Many Unexpected Benefits of a Homeschool Co-Op, goes beyond those differences and finds some of the unifying and unexpected benefits of homeschool co-ops. 

If  you are trying to decide whether to participate in a homeschool co-op this year and have been diligently making a list of pros/cons, don’t forget my favorite, yet rarely discussed, unexpected benefit of participating in a co-op:

EXPOSING YOUR KIDS to BRATS and BULLIES!

I know this sounds extreme but think about it.

As homeschool parents, we get to pick and choose nearly every aspect of our kids’ lives.

Where they go.

When they play.

What they learn.  

With whom they hang.

And, as the loving, supportive parents that we are, we try to always make the best choices for them.

We feed them healthy snacks.

We cater to their learning styles.

We keep them in safe environments.

We arrange playdates with kind, respectful kids.

But, as much as we may want to create a perfect world for our babes, we can’t.  But, more importantly, we shouldn’t.  Why? Because real life isn’t perfect. Without robbing them of a happy childhood or scarring them for life, I think it’s imperative that our kids understand that life is not perfect. 

It’s not perfect when they are nine years old and it won’t be perfect when they are twenty-nine. Not only are they are imperfect themselves, their lives will forever be filled with various imperfections. 

And one of life’s most prominent and persistent imperfections is people.

Untrustworthy people.

Annoying people.

Ignorant people.

Hurtful people.

Selfish people.

Rude people.

Do we want  our kids to experience anything other than wonderful, loving, supportive people? No, of course not.

But, are they going to experience bad people, despite our best wishes and fiercest intentions? Yes, for sure. 

So, they  might as well be introduced first to these types of people under our direct supervision and loving control. 

Blessedly, our babes don’t need to experience BRATS and BULLIES in the public school classroom or, worse yet, on the playground with overworked teachers and underpaid playground supervisors. 

Our kids can experience the BRATS and BULLIES of the world with their fiercest defenders at their sides…us!

What better way to first expose our kids to the BRATS and BULLIES of the world than with  us observing the interactions, guiding their responses and protecting the results? 

I’ll admit that the first time our son experienced his first BRAT at co-op, I was sad. We were new to town and excited to make friends at co-op. Unfortunately, it turned out that there was a real BRAT in his co-op class. Ya know, the kid who is rude to both adults and kids, makes everything a competition and then pouts when he doesn’t get his way.

As disheartening as that was, I was glad I was there to watch the BRAT emerge and observe my child’s reaction. We were then able to discuss the situation after and formulate a plan for future encounters. We remained in that co-op but we did not seek any sort of friendship outside with that particular child. My child learned that not every kid in his class models good behavior and is friend material. As simple as this lesson sounds, my sweet, loving kid had never met a peer that he did not consider an instant friend until this situation arose.

And a few years later when he encountered his first BULLY at co-op, I was simultaneously very angry about this kid’s behavior and strangely peaceful about it too. This kid was an emotional bully who belittled my child by creating an “inner circle” of cool kids and purposely excluding my son from interactions. This kid was definitely the Alpha of the entire group and all of the boys wanted to be his friends, including my son. Sadly.

My son tried for weeks. And was rejected each time. He wasn’t the only one on the outside of the BULLY’S inner circle. There were others on the receiving end of the “just kidding” jokes and shunned looks. There were others not invited to the birthday parties and left out of the secret handshakes. But because this BULLY was also smart, he behaved when most adults were watching, which meant my son was sometimes accepted into the group but then figuratively kicked out again when the BULLY thought no adult eyes were on him. 

But I was watching. After all, that’s my job and since I was at Co-Op with my son, I was able to watch! I watched it all take place and then I gently discussed it with my son after co-op each week. It took loads of rejections, lots of prayer, too many tears and countless discussions for my son to decide on his own that he didn’t want to be friends with the BULLY anyhow. He decided that the BULLY was not somebody worth the angst and agony he had caused week in and week out. He came to this conclusion on his own. And once he did, he was happy. He was free to pursue other friendships at co-op. He broke down the social order that the BULLY tried so hard to force on everybody by simple saying, “Nope! Not gonna play that dumb game.” 

And I could not have been more proud of my son, and grateful to that BULLY.

Why? Because he taught my kid a very valuable lesson at a young age

A lesson that many public school kids struggle to realize is being forced on them every day in the classroom and on the playground.  But one of which the teachers simply don’t have the time to be aware.  And, by the time these kids get home from school, they’re too exhausted and numb from trying to handle life on their own. It’s not even that they choose not to discuss their feelings with their parents; they don’t have the maturity to understand that something needs to be discussed. 

Thanks to that BULLY, my son learned a lesson at nine that some adults still have not learned. 

Because, let’s face it,  life is filled with BRATS and BULLIES. At work, In college. Next door. Even at church. Sadly, even in our own extended families. 

No matter the path your child will take as he meanders into adulthood, he is going to encounter both BRATS and BULLIES. Participating in a homeschool co-op could very well equip him to be ready to handle those issues with confidence and grace.

Click here for the next installment in this series, The Many Unexpected Benefits of a Homeschool Co-op: FAILURES and FRUSTRATIONS

Want some help teaching your kids how to identify and be a good friend? Check out my Friendship and Virtues Lesson Plan Pack! It’s PERFECT for a Co-Op class!