The Wolfe Pack {Reviews~Support~Opinions for the Discerning Homeschool Mom}

providing the discerning homeschool mama with supoort on her journey

HOMESCHOOL MOMS Are Not the Same as CLASSROOM TEACHERS

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I recently saw a poll in a big Face Book group for HOMESCHOOL MOMS that asked the question,  “If your church asked all TEACHERS to stand up and be recognized, would you stand up?” 

The answers varied, of course, {but the discussion stayed civil, thankfully} and it got me thinking, “would I?”

If my pastor asked the TEACHERS in the congregation to stand up and be recognized, would I stand up?

The answer is NOPE. I would not. I would stay seated and respectfully acknowledge all of the TEACHERS who stood. Why?

Because I don’t consider myself a TEACHER. 

I am a HOMESCHOOL MOM. 

And HOMESCHOOL MOMS are not the same as CLASSROOM TEACHERS.

I’m a mom who has decided to educate her child at home. Yes, I teach my child. But I am not a TEACHER in the way most people use the term. 

I’m not a TEACHER of other people’s kids. 

I’m not a TEACHER who is responsible for 30 kids at one time. 

I’m not a TEACHER who is mandated to teach specific subjects and utilize certain books. 

I’m not a TEACHER who answers to 30 sets of parents, one principal, a team of grade level peers, a full school board and the state.  

I’m not a TEACHER who is underpaid but still expected to provide a beautiful but calm, comfortable but exciting, gender-neutral, multi-cultural environment for my students. 

I’m not a TEACHER who is regulated in what she can say and how she can say it. 

I’m not a TEACHER anymore than a mom who uses homeopathic remedies at home is a doctor. 

I’m not a TEACHER anymore than a dad who arms himself at home is a police officer. 

I’m not a TEACHER anymore than a neighbor who rescues his family from a fire is a firefighter.

I’m just a mom who decided that it would be best to educate her son at home.

And I get to make that education look however my husband and I decide.

It’s an absolute privilege to do so and I feel blessed every day. 

Is it always easy? Of course not. 

Is it always fun? Ha. I wish. 

Is it worth it? Totally!

But, I am not a TEACHER. 

Let those men and women have their discounts.

Let them have their special appreciation weeks.

Let them flood their FB pages with requests for classroom donations. 

Let the community call them special.

Let the churches recognize them on certain days.

Let the public donate backpacks and pencil pouches. 

   HOMESCHOOL MOMS are not the same as CLASSROOM TEACHERS.

CLASSROOM TEACHERS are poorly paid, underappreciated, hard working individuals who deserve special recognition. 

And, yes,  so are HOMESCHOOL MOMS. We are special. We work hard. We are often underappreciated. And we’re certainly underpaid, ha ha. But we CHOOSE to do those things and be that person for our own families. That is an entirely different concept than a CLASSROOM TEACHER who is assigned 30 new kids each year from community families and is expected to provide a decent education with a small budget and a huge bureaucracy.

Don’t get me wrong. I am not saying CLASSROOM TEACHERS are worth more than HOMESCHOOL MOMS. And I am not saying the opposite. 

All, I am saying is that

 HOMESCHOOL MOMS are not the same as CLASSROOM TEACHERS.

The Many UNEXPECTED BENEFITS of a Co-op {One: BRATS and BULLIES}

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Participating in a co-op is a hotly debated topic within the homeschool community and for good reason. It would seem that there are as many different styles of co-ops as there are curricula choices. Some are ultra-selective with strict rules and guidelines. Some are uber loose with barely a plan in place. Some are taught by nothing other than moms while others use paid professionals to teach classes. Some are taught in homes and others rent out classrooms. As the details vary, the pros and cons will too. 

But, this series, The Many Unexpected Benefits of a Co-Op, goes beyond those differences and finds some of the unifying and unexpected benefits of homeschool co-ops. 

If  you are trying to decide whether to participate in a homeschool co-op this year and have been diligently making a list of pros/cons, don’t forget my favorite, yet rarely discussed, unexpected benefit of participating in a co-op:

EXPOSING YOUR KIDS to BRATS and BULLIES!

I know this sounds extreme but think about it.

As homeschool parents, we get to pick and choose nearly every aspect of our kids’ lives.

Where they go.

When they play.

What they learn.  

With whom they hang.

And, as the loving, supportive parents that we are, we try to always make the best choices for them.

We feed them healthy snacks.

We cater to their learning styles.

We keep them in safe environments.

We arrange playdates with kind, respectful kids.

But, as much as we may want to create a perfect world for our babes, we can’t.  But, more importantly, we shouldn’t.  Why? Because real life isn’t perfect. Without robbing them of a happy childhood or scarring them for life, I think it’s imperative that our kids understand that life is not perfect. 

It’s not perfect when they are nine years old and it won’t be perfect when they are twenty-nine. Not only are they are imperfect themselves, their lives will forever be filled with various imperfections. 

And one of life’s most prominent and persistent imperfections is people.

Untrustworthy people.

Annoying people.

Ignorant people.

Hurtful people.

Selfish people.

Rude people.

Do we want  our kids to experience anything other than wonderful, loving, supportive people? No, of course not.

But, are they going to experience bad people, despite our best wishes and fiercest intentions? Yes, for sure. 

So, they  might as well be introduced first to these types of people under our direct supervision and loving control. 

Blessedly, our babes don’t need to experience BRATS and BULLIES in the public school classroom or, worse yet, on the playground with overworked teachers and underpaid playground supervisors. 

Our kids can experience the BRATS and BULLIES of the world with their fiercest defenders at their sides…us!

What better way to first expose our kids to the BRATS and BULLIES of the world than with  us observing the interactions, guiding their responses and protecting the results? 

I’ll admit that the first time our son experienced his first BRAT at co-op, I was sad. We were new to town and excited to make friends at co-op. Unfortunately, it turned out that there was a real BRAT in his co-op class. Ya know, the kid who is rude to both adults and kids, makes everything a competition and then pouts when he doesn’t get his way.

As disheartening as that was, I was glad I was there to watch the BRAT emerge and observe my child’s reaction. We were then able to discuss the situation after and formulate a plan for future encounters. We remained in that co-op but we did not seek any sort of friendship outside with that particular child. My child learned that not every kid in his class models good behavior and is friend material. As simple as this lesson sounds, my sweet, loving kid had never met a peer that he did not consider an instant friend until this situation arose.

And a few years later when he encountered his first BULLY at co-op, I was simultaneously very angry about this kid’s behavior and strangely peaceful about it too. This kid was an emotional bully who belittled my child by creating an “inner circle” of cool kids and purposely excluding my son from interactions. This kid was definitely the Alpha of the entire group and all of the boys wanted to be his friends, including my son. Sadly.

My son tried for weeks. And was rejected each time. He wasn’t the only one on the outside of the BULLY’S inner circle. There were others on the receiving end of the “just kidding” jokes and shunned looks. There were others not invited to the birthday parties and left out of the secret handshakes. But because this BULLY was also smart, he behaved when most adults were watching, which meant my son was sometimes accepted into the group but then figuratively kicked out again when the BULLY thought no adult eyes were on him. 

But I was watching. After all, that’s my job and since I was at Co-Op with my son, I was able to watch! I watched it all take place and then I gently discussed it with my son after co-op each week. It took loads of rejections, lots of prayer, too many tears and countless discussions for my son to decide on his own that he didn’t want to be friends with the BULLY anyhow. He decided that the BULLY was not somebody worth the angst and agony he had caused week in and week out. He came to this conclusion on his own. And once he did, he was happy. He was free to pursue other friendships at co-op. He broke down the social order that the BULLY tried so hard to force on everybody by simple saying, “Nope! Not gonna play that dumb game.” 

And I could not have been more proud of my son, and grateful to that BULLY.

Why? Because he taught my kid a very valuable lesson at a young age

A lesson that many public school kids struggle to realize is being forced on them every day in the classroom and on the playground.  But one of which the teachers simply don’t have the time to be aware.  And, by the time these kids get home from school, they’re too exhausted and numb from trying to handle life on their own. It’s not even that they choose not to discuss their feelings with their parents; they don’t have the maturity to understand that something needs to be discussed. 

Thanks to that BULLY, my son learned a lesson at nine that some adults still have not learned. 

Because, let’s face it,  life is filled with BRATS and BULLIES. At work, In college. Next door. Even at church. Sadly, even in our own extended families. 

No matter the path your child will take as he meanders into adulthood, he is going to encounter both BRATS and BULLIES. Participating in a homeschool co-op could very well equip him to be ready to handle those issues with confidence and grace. 

Want some help teaching your kids how to be and how to find a good friend? Check out my Friendship and Virtues Lesson Pack for sale on TpT or, better yet, subscribe to my email list here. By subscribing, you will receive a different product for FREE once per month. 

Three MOST IMPORTANT Considerations to Help Decide Whether to HOMESCHOOL

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Making the decision to homeschool is one of the biggest parenting decisions  you will ever make. Some women know long before they even meet their prospective spouses that they intend on homeschooling their future children while others send their kids to public school for four years and then on the eve of a new school year, feel drawn to keep her kids home. And many moms are somewhere in the middle of that spectrum. No matter which mom you find yourself to be, deciding whether to homeschool is a HUGE decision and one that should not be taken lightly. There are seemingly 100 different things to consider when making the decision, and if you join a FB group of current homeschoolers, you’ll be faced with 1000 new considerations! In order to not get overwhelmed, try focusing on just these three for now…

ONE:  SOCIALIZATION

How will  your kids receive SOCIALIZATION?

This is such a “hot-button” issue between pro/anti homeschoolers that it seems like a crazy place to start but the reason it is a hot-button issue is because it’s an important one.  SOCIALIZATION {the process by which one acquires a personal identity and learns norms, values, behaviors and social skills} cannot be done in a vacuum or alone at home. Despite what many homeschoolers tend to argue, SOCIALIZATION is a legit concern. Most homeschoolers bristle when somebody {anybody!} asks about SOCIALIZATION for homeschoolers. Personally, the question does not bother me because I believe it is a fair question. Whether you move a child from public school to homeschool or a child’s education begins with homeschool from the start, the fact remains we are removing kids from the automatic, built-in day-to-day social setting that is found in the public school classroom. {Whether that is good or bad SOCIALIZATION, is a different question for another day.} And, unless you’re wanting to homeschool in order to keep your children literal captives at home, you would probably {hopefully!} agree that kids need some sort of SOCIALIZATION.  The GREAT news about homeschooling is that we get to CHOOSE with whom and how they socialize.  So allow yourself to ask the important question… how will your kids receive SOCIALIZATION?

Do your kids already have friends who are not based on their current school setting?

Do you have neighbors who homeschool?

Do you have neighbor kids at all {so your kids can play with them after school}?

Do your kids have cousins in the area?

Do you attend church where your kids have friends?

Do your kids participate in any {non-school related} sports or other activities?

Can you afford to add them to new/additional sports or activities?

Are there any co-ops in your town?

If so, check their rules and bylaws. Would any of those co-ops be a good fit for your family?

If not, would you consider yourself confident and capable enough to start your own co-op?

Does the local library offer any type of activities for HS kids?

If not, do they offer after school activities for all kids?

Do you already possess the necessary transportation to take your kids to/from activities/playdates/etc?

Do you have multiple kids?

If so, will you homeschool all of your kids? Do some of those kids need naps, have busy schedules or require special attention of some sort?

Are your multiple kids close in age? Do they get along? Do they enjoy being together?

Do your kids like loads of social interaction or do they just tend to have one close friend?

How do you feel about your kids having on-line friendships?

How you do feel about your kids being friends with younger kids? Older kids?

Every family will answer those questions somewhat differently. Every situation is unique but remember, the question isn’t “If I choose to homeschool my kids, will  they  receive any SOCIALIZATION?” The question is “How  will they receive that SOCIALIZATION?” I’m a wee bit different in the homeschool world because I only have one kid so any/all SOCIALIZATION occurs when I make plans with other people or take our son to an activity. So, believe me when I say,  if I can provide not just sufficient SOCIALIZATION but also meaningful  SOCIALIZATION for him, then you can too!

TWO: FINANCES

Can you afford to homeschool?

If you are already a SAHM with no income, then this is a much smaller piece of the decision-making puzzle for you. All you need to consider is if your FINANCES can handle buying curriculum and paying for potential outings? 

If you are NOT currently a SAHM, you do need to sit down and do the math on whether you can afford it. Things to consider when looking at your FINANCES…

How much do you make per year?

Can your family afford to lose your income?

Are there ways you can cut things from the budget?

Are you the provider through whom your family’s health insurance is offered?

Do you currently pay childcare while your kids are at work?

Do your kids have any included meals while at public school or childcare now? {because homeschool kids seem to EAT their way through the day!}

Can you afford to buy curriculum?

Can you afford field trips, memberships to museums and whatnot?

If you would still need to bring in some income, what could you do to make that happen?

Are you organized enough to work part time and teach from home too?

Are you focused enough to work from home with your kids doing lessons as well?

Are you driven enough to do it all? And to do it all well?

Only you and your husband can decide whether you can afford homeschooling or not. Asking other homeschool moms can be helpful in terms of identifying any “hidden costs” to homeschooling but, in the end, every situation varies greatly. As far as knowing how much curriculum can cost, you just need to know it can range from basically free to thousands per kid. The best suggestion is to decide how much you want to budget for curriculum, plus how much you want to spend on field trips, classes, etc and then throw in some more for unexpected things. If you decide to homeschool, use that number and stick to it. Adjust it for the next year if you need to. 

THREE:  SUPPORT

Who will SUPPORT you on this journey?

{The SUPPORT of your spouse is a given. If your spouse is not on board with the idea of homeschooling your children, you need to stop reading this and focus on that issue before anything else. Under no circumstances do I suggest that a mom should homeschool without the complete SUPPORT of her husband.}

So, assuming your husband is already on board, who ELSE will SUPPORT you? Because, believe me, you will need it.

Will your parents support you?

In-laws?

Close friends?

Church family?

Grown children?

Neighbors?

Old friends?

On-line friends?

I’ve been very blessed in the sense that our family and friends have been very supportive along our entire HS journey so far. But, I know that is not the case of many, many homeschoolers. I’ve heard of homeschool moms being verbally attacked by their own mothers for ruining their grandchildren. I know moms whose next-door neighbors have called CPS because they homeschool. Friendships have crumbled, families have become estranged and marriages have ended because some moms have opted to keep their kids home and provide their education. Stop now and think of the important people in your lives. If you care what they think, ask yourself if they are likely to SUPPORT your decision to homeschool. If you don’t care what they think, good for you! But, now ask yourself if you are okay doing this alone. {Of course you would have your husband’s SUPPORT but as any SAHM will tell you, you need more than just your man when it comes to the day-to-day grind of being home all day with kids.}

Now, ask yourself what type of SUPPORT will you need?

Do you just need the absence of random people verbally judging?

Or do you need actual phone calls from your mom saying,  “Yay, you! You are amazing and your kids will be fabulous adults some day!”

Do you need physical SUPPORT from friends taking your kids for a day so you can go to the MD, carpooling to activities or swapping subjects to teach one another’s kids?

Are you an introvert and have no desire to make new friends but would be more than happy to join a FB Group with 30, 000 other homeschool moms?

Do you need your old friends to SUPPORT you by validating your friendship through frequent girls-nights-out?

Just like with SOCIALIZATION and FINANCES, the answers to the SUPPORT questions will look different for you than me {or anybody else}. The important thing is that you are honest with yourself as you take each of these things into consideration. It’s a big decision but the time, effort and energy spent will be well worth it!

ENORMOUS BONUS of HOMESCHOOLING: Structuring Education NOW to Meet Career Goals

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There are so many advantages to homeschooling our children.

We get to choose what curricula to use, when to bump up a level and when to back off.

We get to do Bible every day, math every other day and history twice each day {if we want.}

We get to structure our days exactly how it works best for our kids. We can start late in the day and teach through dinner. Or we can start at 6am and be done before The Price is Right comes on. 

We can pursue something unique that triggers our kid’s fancy, we can alter what we read in books or we can skip topics altogether. 

We are blessed to grow extra close relationships with our kids all the while helping them learn and grow and mature. 

But, another MAJOR benefit that recently struck me as an ENORMOUS BONUS that cannot be matched via any other educational option is

being able to structure their education NOW to meet up with their career goals LATER in life. 

I only have one example to offer but I am completely and utterly positive that there are a gazillion examples of how to make this work for YOUR KID.

Our son, who is now 12, has wanted to be a zookeeper FORbasicallyEVER. 

Now, a LOT of kids like animals and many seem to really LOVE them so none of this surprised us. We catered to his likes by visiting zoos in multiple cities and states, taking him to live animal shows and watching several reality-based zoo shows as a family.

Like most parents, we unconsciously assumed he would change his mind, but, his childhood dream hasn’t waned at all. He simply wants to be a zookeeper. 

While he was in the middle of his Seventh Grade year, my husband decided to begin researching the path to zookeepering. And, one of the biggest surprises that we discovered was the suggestion {made by many renowned professionals in the field of animal keeping} that young adults need to have SIGNIFICANT VOLUNTEER TIME under their belts before they can even begin to dream of applying for a paid zookeeper gig. 

Now, I’ll admit. This suggestion of SIGNIFICANT VOLUNTEER TIME gave me visions of a college graduate living in my basement for years while he schlepped down to the local animal shelter or maybe shoveling stalls at a nearby farm. 

But then I had the realization that this kid of ours can start volunteering NOW. He’s only 12. But he has the time and he has the dream. So, I did some quick thinking (not a lot of options in our smallish town, which is located no closer than 90 miles from an actual zoo,) and I landed on our local museum that just so happens to have

two giant tortoises

an alligator snapping turtle, 

an alligator gar, 

more snakes than I want to acknowledge, 

one bat, 

several frogs and toads,

two chuckwallas, 

a couple of water monitors, 

a pair of red slider turtles

and about 1000 mice

{because they purposely breed them to feed everything above.}

So, I made some calls on Wednesday, our son had his first ever interview on Friday and he began “work” Monday morning at 9am!

He now spends about 6-8 hours each week helping care for this menagerie of animals and working toward his dream job!

I could write an entire post on the benefits of this experience {and I probably will} but the point of this post is this…

He’s ONLY 12 years old and is actually actively working towards his career goal!

I think that is an ENORMOUS BONUS of homeschooling! Don’t you?

The kid’s first day at “work”