The Wolfe Pack {Reviews~Support~Opinions for the Discerning Homeschool Mom}

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Three Tips on How to Homeschool During the Holidays

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{This post may contain affiliate links. Please read our Disclosure Policy for details.} 

Long before I was a homeschool mom, I was a classroom teacher and one of the biggest challenges I experienced every year was figuring out ways to push through the academic curriculum while wading through the holiday season filled with parties, programs and plays. It was NOT An easy balance to find. Sway one way too much and my First Graders wouldn’t be able to read/write or add/subtract. Sway too far the other way and parents complained about “missing out on all the fun parts of school.” {I do not miss that type of pressure at all!}

I never dreamed that it would be just as hard as a HOMESCHOOL MOM to ensure that academics did not totally fly out the window as soon as mid-October hit. 

Between the amazing array of field trips that seem to abound every fall {apple picking, pumpkin patches, picnics in the park…} and parties to celebrate the various holidays {Caramel Apple Decorating, Thanksgiving Feasts, Gingerbread House Building…} having a full week of schooling at home seems impossible. Throw in at least one play, program or musical and it’s a wonder we get any teaching done at all from October through December.  

And, before you utter, “but learning happens all the time, no matter where you are and what you are doing” let me remind you that, while that is true, it’s not THAT simple. I agree that learning CAN happen anywhere. I believe that learning CAN occur at anytime.  BUT unless your kids are going to grow up to be professional Pilgrims or toy-making elves {no offense to those professions, ha ha,} they will need to know how to read and write. If they want to survive in the world of shopping and eating out, they will need to be able to multiply and divide. If they want to go to college, they will need to know how to formulate a scientific hypothesis and write clearly structured essays. And those things cannot be taught if we stop focusing on academics for the last 10 weeks of every single calendar year.

So, how can we continue to teach academics during this busy holiday season?

TIP ONE: Plan Ahead!

Wrap up 25 Christmas books, start on December 1st and read one book per day until Christmas.

Assign copywork of the lines your kid needs to know for the Christmas play.

Take paper and pencils to the store when shopping for gifts and ask your kids to find the total before you go to the register.

Search TpT for lessons on holiday symbols and traditions or the true story of Christmas.

Choose crafts that teach skills your kids actually need and not just because they are cute.

Create an Advent activity for the month of December that is both meaningful and academic.

If your family does the Elf on the Shelf, be an Elfover-achiever and make at least some of the elf’s daily antics centered around academics.

Take the time not only to go Christmas caroling, but also learn the words of and the meaning behind classic carols before you go! {Click here for a FREE 40 page Hymn Study Pack on Angels We Have Heard on High.}

None of that advanced planning takes away from the fun and joyful experiences of the holidays. But they do make the activities more meaningful and purposeful and they keep your kids focused on their academics while still having fun.

TIP TWO: Get creative!

Ask your kids to group the ornaments into types {shapes, sizes, colors, etc} and graph them before you put them on the tree.

{Or, later in the season, have them count the number of pine needles that have fallen off before they vacuum, ha ha.}  

Rewrite the math assignment to include word problems about gifts, stockings and candy canes.

Say “we will practice fractions while baking cookies today” and make your younger kids reduce those fractions while the older kids need to find equivalent choices.

Replace the spelling words in your kid’s workbook with words including “sleigh, tradition, mistletoe”.

Teach formal letter-writing by having your kids write “thank you” letters.

Switch out your lunch-time read aloud book for something holiday related. {For a great historical fiction Christmas chapter book appropriate for all ages, check out the Imagination Station’s Danger on a Silent Night.} {And then take your fun new read aloud to the next level and get a resource to accompany it here. This Novel Study Pack is filled with vocab studies, puzzles and more!}

Explore the chemistry of instant hot-cocoa.

Define the laws of physics that allow graham crackers to be held up in a vertical position with icing while building gingerbread houses.

Yes, it will take longer to be creative. Yes, it will feel more like work than if you simply hope they’ll learn through osmosis while baking cookies, decorating trees and building gingerbread houses.  But, the extra time and effort will be worth it. They’ll be doing actual academics while enjoying a variety of fun activities!

TIP THREE: Be Diligent!

Acknowledge that your kids’ academics fall solely on you. Yes, that’s a lot of pressure but it’s what we signed up for when we decided to homeschool. So, remain diligent during the holiday season.  

Be diligent about your time.

It’s okay to miss out on a field trip or two.

It’s okay to say “no” to the choir director at church.

It’s okay to turn down the opportunity to organize the co-op Christmas party.

Be diligent about goals for your homeschool.

Stick to your daily routines.

Stick to your lesson plans.

Stick to your curriculum.

Do not put that carefully-chosen curriculum on the shelf “until January when things settle down.”

Be diligent by acknowledging that in January, you will be hit with Valentine’s Day, Easter and end-of-the-year craziness.  

Be diligent in continuing to educate your kids during this busy holiday season.

Be diligent now so you are not caught off-guard in May and then decide to scrap the last 10 chapters of math.  

I know this sounds difficult and time-consuming but, if you PLAN AHEAD and BE CREATIVE, it’ll be easy to BE DILIGENT!

And if you do all three, you can easily slip in loads of fun activities and memory-making!

Three Reasons WHY You SHOULD Teach Your Kids About COLUMBUS

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{This post may contain affiliate links. Please read our Disclosure Policy for details.} 

With Columbus Day just around the corner, you may find yourself wondering what exactly to teach about CHRISTOPHER COLUMBUS or whether to teach about him at all. If so, don’t worry, you are in good company. Each time fall rolls around, CHRISTOPHER COLUMBUS becomes a hot topic in the homeschool world. CHRISTOPHER COLUMBUS is not a cut/dry topic so homeschool moms start asking questions and seeking answers….

Why do we CELEBRATE Columbus Day?

How do you decide WHAT to teach about Columbus?

Should you even BOTHER teaching about Columbus AT ALL?

Should I just IGNORE Columbus altogether since he’s so CONTROVERSIAL?

Did our teachers LIE to US?

Is this all just part of a larger CONSPIRACY?

What else is UNTRUE?

If you have not seen the heated debates, join most any homeschool group on Facebook and enter “CHRISTOPER COLUMBUS”  in the search bar. I can just about guarantee that it won’t come up with all warm and fuzzy comments and cute little crafts of ships made with paper and straws. 

You’ll see comments that include:

murder,  innovative,  horrible, brave,  awful,  corrupt,  plague, leader,  genocide, life-changer,  conspiracy, vilify. 

So, with so many conflicting opinions, how do we decide what to teach about COLUMBUS or whether to teach about him at all?

As any seasoned HOMESCHOOL MOM knows, one of the most beautiful benefits of educating our kids at home is that we get to CHOOSE what we teach our kids. But as liberating  as that is for some moms, it is also stressful  for others {especially the newer homeschool mom.} The responsibility of what, when and how to teach can be felt as a burden  and some moms need help in answering those questions above. 

I hardly paid attention in my high school history classes {sooooooooooooo boring} and I certainly don’t have a degree in history {I did marry a man with a MA in US History…maybe that counts for something, ha ha} so I won’t pretend to know the answers. But, I will tell you this…

I believe you should teach about COLUMBUS. 

What exactly you should teach, I can’t say. That’s up to you. But, I do believe you should teach, in the very least, the basics of COLUMBUS. 

Here are three reasons why… 

ONE: Columbus is a part of history, whether you like it or not.

Whether you like the man doesn’t matter. The fact remains that CHRISTOPHER COLUMBUS was an explorer who ventured west and inadvertently landed in South America. WHY he wanted to explore a western shipping route doesn’t change the fact that he did. WHAT he did when he got there doesn’t change the fact that he got there. HOW he treated the people that he encountered doesn’t change the fact that he brought Europeans with him. You don’t need to celebrate him in order to include him in your history lessons. But, I do believe you should teach about COLUMBUS.

Choosing what to teach in your homeschool is a lovely blessing but it is also an immense responsibility. We don’t get to shy away from all topics that make us uncomfortable. If we did, I would’ve skipped slavery, WW2 and Roe v Wade. But, it’s irresponsible for us to pick and choose to teach only what we like. In the very least, share only the established, meaningful facts and allow your kids to make a judgment call on his character later in life. But, teach about COLUMBUS. 

TWO: It would be very hard to teach American history without including Columbus.

Without the inclusion of COLUMBUS in your explanation of the discovery of the New World, I’m not sure how you can present a full picture of American history. It’s undeniable that what COLUMBUS accomplished impacted other explorers which eventually led to the discovery, exploration and development of North America. Could we be sitting here if COLUMBUS had never set sail on the Ocean Blue in the year 1492? I suppose so. God could’ve used somebody else to make that trek. But, the fact remains that God chose COLUMBUS and COLUMBUS played an integral part in the history of our fair nation and it would be disingenuous to teach otherwise. Even if you simply include the most basic facts, you need to teach about COLUMBUS. 

THREE: Columbus is the perfect example of God using an imperfect person.

Imperfect men in history are nearly as old as the world itself so cutting out all of their contributions would leave us with nothing. I’m assuming you have heard of Adam? He manages to still hold some merit in the shaping of our earth’s history even though he messed things up pretty quickly. King David? He murdered a man because he lusted after that man’s wife but he still receives a lot of attention for following God’s plans in other ways and making a lasting impact on God’s chosen people.

Let’s turn away from the Bible for a moment and consider other chunks of history. How many of our Founding Fathers were slaveholders? A quick Internet search indicates that there were DOUBLE the number of slaveholding Founding Fathers than not. How many presidents of our own beloved nation have made mistakes in times of war that have resulted in the loss of innocent lives? I can’t even begin to imagine but, without knowing top-secret CIA information, I can just about guarantee that every man that has ever held the position of President of the United States has made mistakes…some of which have resulted in generational-impacting consequences. Should we just pretend they never served as President and ignore their time in history? No, that would give us an incomplete picture of history. 

The hard truth is that every man {except one} who has ever walked this earth has done bad things and made major mistakes. With the exception of one, every man who has ever taken a breath has been a sinner. Not one man, except Jesus, has been perfect. The hard truth is, COLUMBUS is in great company. Whether you choose to teach your kids about his human flaws, bad choices and unintended consequences is entirely up to you but I do believe you should teach about COLUMBUS.

What do you think? Do you plan to teach your kids about CHRISTOPHER COLUMBUS? 

For a very basic explanation of CHRISTOPHER COLUMBUS, check out this fun Rebus Story for early readers. You can buy it here on TpT or receive a FREE copy if you subscribe to my email list.

For a more thorough history lesson for older elementary readers, check out this pack of Informational Text passages. 

And if you want to cover the voyage of CHRISTOPHER COLUMBUS in more humorous and honest detail, check out 

Three LIFE LESSONS My Son Has Learned From Taking a Live Online Class

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My son began his 8th Grade year as a homeschooler this month. I’ve always designed his yearly curriculum using an eclectic approach, mostly with the intent of catering to his strengths while moving his weaknesses forward {sometimes we moved things along slower than I care to admit.}

As I was planning this school year, I finally forced myself to stop denying the fact that I only have five years left with him at home and decided it would be wise to consider what he will need for his High School transcript before making my curriculum selections. 

Considering he wants to major in Zoology in college, there are very specific math and science courses he needs to take in High School, which means there was some very specific prep work we needed to do this year.

We’ve always done a full school schedule that included math, science, history, language arts, writing, Bible as well as some additional electives. And, for the most part, I’ve felt more than capable of instructing him. Until now. With the weighted importance of High School looming just one year away, I decided that it was time to outsource a couple of the more important subjects that were beyond my personal skill set as a teacher. 

This realization lead me to enroll him in a live, online General Science class designed for Middle Schoolers. There are all sorts of online classes available in every subject imaginable with 1.000 different models and approaches. Some are laid-back and more fun than anything. Some are pre-recorded and “work at your own pace.” But I selected a rather rigorous course with a more traditional educational approach.

The class meets weekly for 90 minutes and there is substantial homework for the other four days. The entire experience consists of loads of reading,  hands-on experiments, timed tests, note-taking  and live lectures. 

In just three weeks of taking this class, our son has learned a tremendous amount. Way more than I could’ve successfully taught him using just the book, my ability to skim chapters and my penciled-out schedule.

In addition to learning about the history of science, how to form a hypothesis and how the scientific process both succeeds and fails, he has also learned some very valuable LIFE LESSONS in just three weeks. Lessons that he needed to learn. Lessons that would’ve been really hard to teach him on my own. Lessons that I didn’t know he needed. But, thankfully, lessons that this General Science class seems determined to teach him though I doubt the instructor planned as such. 

 

 

LIFE LESSON ONE: HOW TO RESPECT THE HONOR SYSTEM

Obviously with Mom as your teacher and being an only child, it’s pretty hard to lie and get away with saying you did your work when you didn’t. Even if you are a homeschool kid with six siblings, I think it would still be pretty hard to get away with lying about your work…certainly harder than if you were a public school kid with 29 other classmates to distract your teacher. 

But, as is common among some styles of live, online classes, students don’t have to submit proof that they finished every assignment. Sometimes they simply have to click a button that says, “Yes, I performed Experiment 2.3 and completed the lab report.” 

The first time this popped up as the way to submit his weekly assignment, my son clicked “yes” and then turned to me and asked “but how will my teacher know if I actually did it?” “Ummmmm,” I floundered a bit and then brilliantly said, “she won’t, but you will.”

ACTUALLY DOING THE WORK

And this opened up the opportunity for a discussion regarding the HONOR SYSTEM. We talked about how being dishonest will always hurt you to a degree, even if other people never find out.  And in circumstances that involve reading, learning, etc, it’s definitely going to hurt you in the long run.

Not only will it hurt because it can {hopefully} cause guilt and shame, but it will compound over time. If you don’t do the reading or complete the assignment, you aren’t learning the material. If you don’t learn the material, you won’t do well on the tests. But, more importantly, you have missed the opportunity to LEARN something new, GROW as a student and ADD to who you are. And then you chose to lie about it. 

We kept the conversation going and covered other parts of life where the HONOR SYSTEM might come into play. Will I know that he didn’t feed the dog when he said that he did? No, but his dog, CoCo, will know and she’ll be hungry. And it will be because he was not honest. 

Will the librarian know if he takes 4 books when the sign said “One free book per kid”? Not unless she’s watching. But the last three kids who want a free book will “know” because they won’t have a free book to take home. And, it will be because he was not honest. 

Will his college prof know that he hasn’t completed his individual assignments leading up to the major group project? No, but when it’s time for the group project to be turned in, his groupmates will know and their grade will suffer. And it will be because he was not honest. 

That’s a big LIFE LESSON that we were able to begin to tackle,  all thanks to his live, online general science class. 

 

 

LIFE LESSON TWO: HOW TO TAKE A TIMED, ONLINE TEST

This LIFE LESSON might seem nominally important compared to learning HOW TO RESPECT THE HONOR SYSTEM but, in today’s day and age, knowing HOW TO TAKE A TIMED, ONLINE TEST is most assuredly a LIFE LESSON that our kids need to master at some point. Whether it’s taking an online college course, trying to earn advantage points for a reduced health insurance premium or attempting to avoid a penalty after a speeding ticket, knowing how to negotiate an online test is pretty much imperative these days.  

For my son’s live, online class, he will need to take a total of 23 online tests. The first two tests are open-book and untimed but then he’ll need to transition to timed, close-booked tests.  Strangely enough, he was very excited to take the first test last week. In fact, he was so excited that he got up early and started his test at 8am on his own! But then he had to go to his volunteer job and didn’t return to the test for seven hours! So, by the time he completed the entire test, the exam clock had run for more than EIGHT HOURS.

THE AFTERNOON PORTION OF HIS FIRST TEST 😉

Of course, we emailed the teacher and explained the situation. She found it as humorous as we did and explained that she fully expects a learning curve for the procedures of the class. I’m just glad he has begun the mastery process of HOW TO TAKE A TIMED, ONLINE TEST now at the age of 12, as opposed to as an 18 year old in college {when his professor might not find it nearly as funny!}

 

 

LIFE LESSON THREE: HOW TO MANAGE HIS TIME

Our homeschool calendar has always been what I would term “firm, yet flexible.”  I plan out the entire year in advance and assign things by the week with the full expectation that my son will accomplish them within that time frame. But, I am also flexible in the sense that if life gets in the way, a certain subject is taking longer than expected or his teacher {aka: me} hasn’t quite finished printing the necessary pages, I can just break out my erasable pen and re-work the calendar. I have done this more times than I can count. 

But that’s not quite the case when enrolled in a live, online class. The assignment calendar is set at the start of the semester and provided to the entire class. Every student needs to keep up with the calendar or suffer the consequences of missed assignments and bad grades. 

As soon as I saw the calendar of assignments for my son’s class, I was reminded of my college days and the euphoric feeling that would come over me when I got my hands on a class syllabus for the first time. I LOVED knowing what was due when and plotting it out in my planner.  LOVED it. I’m sure that’s not true for some people. It certainly hasn’t been true for my son. Then again, he’s only 12. He’s got time to acquire that weird love of making a list of things to do and then crossing them off as you get them done. Maybe he’ll never develop a love of the syllabus and to do list like me but he does need to learn HOW TO MANAGE HIS TIME. 

And, what better way to learn it than through a live, online class? {It’s definitely a much better way than to have his mom, or worse yet, his future wife nagging him constantly.}

During the second week of the semester, there was a small hitch in our week. I don’t recall what it was. It doesn’t even matter what it was. The point is, my son did not get his science experiment done on Thursday as originally planned. Then, Friday was uber busy, as always, and there wasn’t any spare time to get the experiment done. So, guess what he had to do? Wake up early on Saturday morning and get the experiment done. 

SATURDAY MORNING SCIENCE

And that’s what he did. I won’t pretend there wasn’t at least a little whining and complaining about getting up early and doing school on a Saturday, but he did it. He knew that if he didn’t get it done on Saturday, he would be behind on his Monday and Tuesday assignments and would not be prepped for the live, online class on Wednesday afternoon. 

So, he got it done. He caught up by working on Saturday morning and learned a valuable LIFE LESSON…HOW TO MANAGE HIS TIME! 

 

 

Homeschool moms often find themselves doubting whether they are doing enough. I know that, over the past 9 years of homeschooling, I have doubted myself a lot. I have doubted whether I made the right curriculum choices. I have doubted whether I have allowed my math-hating kid to take math too slowly. I have doubted whether I shouldn’t have chalked up his horrible spelling skills to just not being a natural speller. 

But more important than worrying about his academics,  I have doubted whether I was giving my only child enough socialization. I have doubted whether we have focused on the right life skills. I have worried that I don’t even know everything that I need to teach {so how can I possibly make sure he learns it?}

But then I step back and take comfort in remembering that homeschooling is a journey. It takes a massive compilation of thousands of individual academic and life skills to create a fully functioning homeschool graduate.

For his 8th Grade year, in addition to Pre-Algebra, World Geography and the New Testament, my son is also learning how to do laundry, how to bake cookies/cakes and how to feed/care for bats, snapping turtles and mudskippers {that’s his volunteer job}. 

And, apparently, he is also learning HOW TO RESPECT THE HONOR SYSTEM, HOW TO TAKE A TIMED, ONLINE TEST and HOW TO MANAGE HIS TIME! {Not that I planned any of that, but I’ll gladly take it!}

 

o

HOMESCHOOL MOMS Are Not the Same as CLASSROOM TEACHERS

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I recently saw a poll in a big Face Book group for HOMESCHOOL MOMS that asked the question,  “If your church asked all TEACHERS to stand up and be recognized, would you stand up?” 

The answers varied, of course, {but the discussion stayed civil, thankfully} and it got me thinking, “would I?”

If my pastor asked the TEACHERS in the congregation to stand up and be recognized, would I stand up?

The answer is NOPE. I would not. I would stay seated and respectfully acknowledge all of the TEACHERS who stood. Why?

Because I don’t consider myself a TEACHER. 

I am a HOMESCHOOL MOM. 

And HOMESCHOOL MOMS are not the same as CLASSROOM TEACHERS.

I’m a mom who has decided to educate her child at home. Yes, I teach my child. But I am not a TEACHER in the way most people use the term. 

I’m not a TEACHER of other people’s kids. 

I’m not a TEACHER who is responsible for 30 kids at one time. 

I’m not a TEACHER who is mandated to teach specific subjects and utilize certain books. 

I’m not a TEACHER who answers to 30 sets of parents, one principal, a team of grade level peers, a full school board and the state.  

I’m not a TEACHER who is underpaid but still expected to provide a beautiful but calm, comfortable but exciting, gender-neutral, multi-cultural environment for my students. 

I’m not a TEACHER who is regulated in what she can say and how she can say it. 

I’m not a TEACHER anymore than a mom who uses homeopathic remedies at home is a doctor. 

I’m not a TEACHER anymore than a dad who arms himself at home is a police officer. 

I’m not a TEACHER anymore than a neighbor who rescues his family from a fire is a firefighter.

I’m just a mom who decided that it would be best to educate her son at home.

And I get to make that education look however my husband and I decide.

It’s an absolute privilege to do so and I feel blessed every day. 

Is it always easy? Of course not. 

Is it always fun? Ha. I wish. 

Is it worth it? Totally!

But, I am not a TEACHER. 

Let those men and women have their discounts.

Let them have their special appreciation weeks.

Let them flood their FB pages with requests for classroom donations. 

Let the community call them special.

Let the churches recognize them on certain days.

Let the public donate backpacks and pencil pouches. 

   HOMESCHOOL MOMS are not the same as CLASSROOM TEACHERS.

CLASSROOM TEACHERS are poorly paid, underappreciated, hard working individuals who deserve special recognition. 

And, yes,  so are HOMESCHOOL MOMS. We are special. We work hard. We are often underappreciated. And we’re certainly underpaid, ha ha. But we CHOOSE to do those things and be that person for our own families. That is an entirely different concept than a CLASSROOM TEACHER who is assigned 30 new kids each year from community families and is expected to provide a decent education with a small budget and a huge bureaucracy.

Don’t get me wrong. I am not saying CLASSROOM TEACHERS are worth more than HOMESCHOOL MOMS. And I am not saying the opposite. 

All, I am saying is that

 HOMESCHOOL MOMS are not the same as CLASSROOM TEACHERS.

The Many UNEXPECTED BENEFITS of a Co-op {One: BRATS and BULLIES}

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Participating in a co-op is a hotly debated topic within the homeschool community and for good reason. It would seem that there are as many different styles of co-ops as there are curricula choices. Some are ultra-selective with strict rules and guidelines. Some are uber loose with barely a plan in place. Some are taught by nothing other than moms while others use paid professionals to teach classes. Some are taught in homes and others rent out classrooms. As the details vary, the pros and cons will too. 

But, this series, The Many Unexpected Benefits of a Co-Op, goes beyond those differences and finds some of the unifying and unexpected benefits of homeschool co-ops. 

If  you are trying to decide whether to participate in a homeschool co-op this year and have been diligently making a list of pros/cons, don’t forget my favorite, yet rarely discussed, unexpected benefit of participating in a co-op:

EXPOSING YOUR KIDS to BRATS and BULLIES!

I know this sounds extreme but think about it.

As homeschool parents, we get to pick and choose nearly every aspect of our kids’ lives.

Where they go.

When they play.

What they learn.  

With whom they hang.

And, as the loving, supportive parents that we are, we try to always make the best choices for them.

We feed them healthy snacks.

We cater to their learning styles.

We keep them in safe environments.

We arrange playdates with kind, respectful kids.

But, as much as we may want to create a perfect world for our babes, we can’t.  But, more importantly, we shouldn’t.  Why? Because real life isn’t perfect. Without robbing them of a happy childhood or scarring them for life, I think it’s imperative that our kids understand that life is not perfect. 

It’s not perfect when they are nine years old and it won’t be perfect when they are twenty-nine. Not only are they are imperfect themselves, their lives will forever be filled with various imperfections. 

And one of life’s most prominent and persistent imperfections is people.

Untrustworthy people.

Annoying people.

Ignorant people.

Hurtful people.

Selfish people.

Rude people.

Do we want  our kids to experience anything other than wonderful, loving, supportive people? No, of course not.

But, are they going to experience bad people, despite our best wishes and fiercest intentions? Yes, for sure. 

So, they  might as well be introduced first to these types of people under our direct supervision and loving control. 

Blessedly, our babes don’t need to experience BRATS and BULLIES in the public school classroom or, worse yet, on the playground with overworked teachers and underpaid playground supervisors. 

Our kids can experience the BRATS and BULLIES of the world with their fiercest defenders at their sides…us!

What better way to first expose our kids to the BRATS and BULLIES of the world than with  us observing the interactions, guiding their responses and protecting the results? 

I’ll admit that the first time our son experienced his first BRAT at co-op, I was sad. We were new to town and excited to make friends at co-op. Unfortunately, it turned out that there was a real BRAT in his co-op class. Ya know, the kid who is rude to both adults and kids, makes everything a competition and then pouts when he doesn’t get his way.

As disheartening as that was, I was glad I was there to watch the BRAT emerge and observe my child’s reaction. We were then able to discuss the situation after and formulate a plan for future encounters. We remained in that co-op but we did not seek any sort of friendship outside with that particular child. My child learned that not every kid in his class models good behavior and is friend material. As simple as this lesson sounds, my sweet, loving kid had never met a peer that he did not consider an instant friend until this situation arose.

And a few years later when he encountered his first BULLY at co-op, I was simultaneously very angry about this kid’s behavior and strangely peaceful about it too. This kid was an emotional bully who belittled my child by creating an “inner circle” of cool kids and purposely excluding my son from interactions. This kid was definitely the Alpha of the entire group and all of the boys wanted to be his friends, including my son. Sadly.

My son tried for weeks. And was rejected each time. He wasn’t the only one on the outside of the BULLY’S inner circle. There were others on the receiving end of the “just kidding” jokes and shunned looks. There were others not invited to the birthday parties and left out of the secret handshakes. But because this BULLY was also smart, he behaved when most adults were watching, which meant my son was sometimes accepted into the group but then figuratively kicked out again when the BULLY thought no adult eyes were on him. 

But I was watching. After all, that’s my job and since I was at Co-Op with my son, I was able to watch! I watched it all take place and then I gently discussed it with my son after co-op each week. It took loads of rejections, lots of prayer, too many tears and countless discussions for my son to decide on his own that he didn’t want to be friends with the BULLY anyhow. He decided that the BULLY was not somebody worth the angst and agony he had caused week in and week out. He came to this conclusion on his own. And once he did, he was happy. He was free to pursue other friendships at co-op. He broke down the social order that the BULLY tried so hard to force on everybody by simple saying, “Nope! Not gonna play that dumb game.” 

And I could not have been more proud of my son, and grateful to that BULLY.

Why? Because he taught my kid a very valuable lesson at a young age

A lesson that many public school kids struggle to realize is being forced on them every day in the classroom and on the playground.  But one of which the teachers simply don’t have the time to be aware.  And, by the time these kids get home from school, they’re too exhausted and numb from trying to handle life on their own. It’s not even that they choose not to discuss their feelings with their parents; they don’t have the maturity to understand that something needs to be discussed. 

Thanks to that BULLY, my son learned a lesson at nine that some adults still have not learned. 

Because, let’s face it,  life is filled with BRATS and BULLIES. At work, In college. Next door. Even at church. Sadly, even in our own extended families. 

No matter the path your child will take as he meanders into adulthood, he is going to encounter both BRATS and BULLIES. Participating in a homeschool co-op could very well equip him to be ready to handle those issues with confidence and grace. 

Want some help teaching your kids how to be and how to find a good friend? Check out my Friendship and Virtues Lesson Pack for sale on TpT or, better yet, subscribe to my email list here. By subscribing, you will receive a different product for FREE once per month.