Archives for November 2019

Four Reasons Why I Wish Every Elf on the Shelf Would Die an Ugly Death

November 26, 2019 by Katherine Wolfe 3 Comments

I wish every Elf on the Shelf would jump into a mid-November pile of leaves and set themselves on fire. We could roast hot dogs and marshmallows while their plastic faces melted off.

Or I wish they would all bury themselves in a giant snowbank. I’m pretty sure their evil little bodies would melt into the ground, leaving behind a creepy cemetery of red felt hats to be found in the spring.

Seriously, I hate the stupid little elves. Why? It’s not like I’m a Grinch. We celebrate Christmas with an enormous {REAL} fir tree, too many beautifully wrapped gifts and an unacceptable amount of baked goods.

So, why do I wish that every Elf on the Shelf would die an ugly death? Four reasons…

ONE: {They are creepy. So creepy.} If a fat man in a red suit and white beard breaking into your home in the middle of the night ever gave you pause, his creepy-as-heck army of single-expression minions should stop you in your tracks! They appear every year, move around at night and get into mischief while nobody is looking. Worse yet, they watch your kids and report back to Santa. Who on earth would actually invite that crazy nonsense into their homes? Apparently, a lot of people. But, not this girl. If I had my way, every Elf on the Shelf would die an ugly death.

TWO: {They create crazy moms.} I know too many normal moms who have turned into crazy, manic moms because of these ridiculous elves. These moms are pinning fools in November, searching Pinterest for the most elaborate, impressive situations to create for their elves. They start December with visions of powdered-sugar messes and tight-rope walking elves. But by December 16th, too many of these moms end up lying in bed in silent tears because they forgot to move the darned elf. They’re too tired to get out of bed now but can’t shake the feeling that the kids will be scarred for life when they wake in the morning and discover Sparkles in the same stupid spot as when they went to bed. These elves create crazy moms and should die ugly deaths to stop the insanity.

THREE: {They incite ridiculous competitiveness.} Not only do normal moms turn into crazy elf-manipulating enablers, they also turn into ultra-competitive adversaries. They compete with both their IRL and online friends. Who can make the biggest, most elaborate, impressive elf-scenario? Who can post the best pics of their awestruck kids gazing at the magical scene before them? Who can keep up these schemes for 24 days straight? And the kids? Oh, the kids. They compare the crazy antics of their personal elves with their classmates. Whose elf is the busiest? Which elf gives the best morning gifts? Which elf has behaved so outrageously that he has his own Twitter account? And who has the lame elf who never moves and just sits in the same spot night after night? What about the kids that don’t have elves? How do they compare? Both moms and kids alike would be better off if every Elf on the Shelf would die an ugly death.

WARNING Things are about to turn more serious. I’ve been mostly kidding around so far. I really don’t want to burn the elves at the stake. But, I really do detest them. And here is why…

FOUR: {They are treated like demigods.} People treat them like tiny, creepy, plastic demigods that spy on their kids day and night. And this is not just imaginative play and the “magic” of the season. The crazy stories of flying in from the North Pole and being stone-still during the day while upending all sorts of chaos at night all in the name of helping Santa is NOT just providing an opportunity for our kids to exercise their imaginations. This is well beyond pretending that Super-Man is legit or wishing that unicorns were real. This is point-blank giving an inanimate object qualities that belong to our one and only true God. Why do we do that? Why do we let our kids believe that these creepy little dolls have the ability to decide whether they’ve been good or bad little kids? Why do we tell our kids that these ridiculous elves can actually JUDGE their actions and dole out prizes and consequences? Why? Not only have we transferred our parental responsibilities of monitoring behaviors, we have blasphemed God by telling our kids that these magical, moving creatures with super-human qualities have the right to JUDGE their choices. It was all fun and games until we did that. Maybe I don’t seriously wish every Elf on the Shelf would die an ugly death. But I do wish we’d put them away and never bring them back out. There are plenty of ways to make jolly memories for your kids this holiday season without these creepy, crazy-making, competitive-inciting demigods.

Want to find out how I feel about Santa too? Check out The Rare Reason We Don’t Do Santa.

Three Tips on How to Homeschool During the Holidays

November 25, 2019 by Katherine Wolfe 2 Comments

{This post may contain affiliate links. Please read our Disclosure Policy for details.}

Long before I was a homeschool mom, I was a classroom teacher and one of the biggest challenges I experienced every year was figuring out ways to push through the academic curriculum while wading through the holiday season filled with parties, programs and plays. It was NOT An easy balance to find. Sway one way too much and my First Graders wouldn’t be able to read/write or add/subtract. Sway too far the other way and parents complained about “missing out on all the fun parts of school.” {I do not miss that type of pressure at all!}

I never dreamed that it would be just as hard as a HOMESCHOOL MOM to ensure that academics did not totally fly out the window as soon as mid-October hit.

Between the amazing array of field trips that seem to abound every fall {apple picking, pumpkin patches, picnics in the park…} and parties to celebrate the various holidays {Caramel Apple Decorating, Thanksgiving Feasts, Gingerbread House Building…} having a full week of schooling at home seems impossible. Throw in at least one play, program or musical and it’s a wonder we get any teaching done at all from October through December.

And, before you utter, “but learning happens all the time, no matter where you are and what you are doing” let me remind you that, while that is true, it’s not THAT simple. I agree that learning CAN happen anywhere. I believe that learning CAN occur at anytime. BUT unless your kids are going to grow up to be professional Pilgrims or toy-making elves {no offense to those professions, ha ha,} they will need to know how to read and write. If they want to survive in the world of shopping and eating out, they will need to be able to multiply and divide. If they want to go to college, they will need to know how to formulate a scientific hypothesis and write clearly structured essays. And those things cannot be taught if we stop focusing on academics for the last 10 weeks of every single calendar year.

So, how can we continue to teach academics during this busy holiday season?

TIP ONE: Plan Ahead!

Wrap up 25 Christmas books, start on December 1st and read one book per day until Christmas.

Assign copywork of the lines your kid needs to know for the Christmas play.

Take paper and pencils to the store when shopping for gifts and ask your kids to find the total before you go to the register.

Search TpT for lessons on holiday symbols and traditions or the true story of Christmas.

Choose crafts that teach skills your kids actually need and not just because they are cute.

Create an Advent activity for the month of December that is both meaningful and academic.

If your family does the Elf on the Shelf, be an Elfover-achiever and make at least some of the elf’s daily antics centered around academics.

Take the time not only to go Christmas caroling, but also learn the words of and the meaning behind classic carols before you go! {Click here for a FREE 40 page Hymn Study Pack on Angels We Have Heard on High.}

None of that advanced planning takes away from the fun and joyful experiences of the holidays. But they do make the activities more meaningful and purposeful and they keep your kids focused on their academics while still having fun.

TIP TWO: Get creative!

Ask your kids to group the ornaments into types {shapes, sizes, colors, etc} and graph them before you put them on the tree.

{Or, later in the season, have them count the number of pine needles that have fallen off before they vacuum, ha ha.}

Rewrite the math assignment to include word problems about gifts, stockings and candy canes.

Say “we will practice fractions while baking cookies today” and make your younger kids reduce those fractions while the older kids need to find equivalent choices.

Replace the spelling words in your kid’s workbook with words including “sleigh, tradition, mistletoe”.

Teach formal letter-writing by having your kids write “thank you” letters.

Switch out your lunch-time read aloud book for something holiday related. {For a great historical fiction Christmas chapter book appropriate for all ages, check out the Imagination Station’s Danger on a Silent Night.} {And then take your fun new read aloud to the next level and get a resource to accompany it here. This Novel Study Pack is filled with vocab studies, puzzles and more!}

Explore the chemistry of instant hot-cocoa.

Define the laws of physics that allow graham crackers to be held up in a vertical position with icing while building gingerbread houses.

Yes, it will take longer to be creative. Yes, it will feel more like work than if you simply hope they’ll learn through osmosis while baking cookies, decorating trees and building gingerbread houses. But, the extra time and effort will be worth it. They’ll be doing actual academics while enjoying a variety of fun activities!

TIP THREE: Be Diligent!

Acknowledge that your kids’ academics fall solely on you. Yes, that’s a lot of pressure but it’s what we signed up for when we decided to homeschool. So, remain diligent during the holiday season.

Be diligent about your time.

It’s okay to miss out on a field trip or two.

It’s okay to say “no” to the choir director at church.

It’s okay to turn down the opportunity to organize the co-op Christmas party.

Be diligent about goals for your homeschool.

Stick to your daily routines.

Stick to your lesson plans.

Stick to your curriculum.

Do not put that carefully-chosen curriculum on the shelf “until January when things settle down.”

Be diligent by acknowledging that in January, you will be hit with Valentine’s Day, Easter and end-of-the-year craziness.

Be diligent in continuing to educate your kids during this busy holiday season.

Be diligent now so you are not caught off-guard in May and then decide to scrap the last 10 chapters of math.

I know this sounds difficult and time-consuming but, if you PLAN AHEAD and BE CREATIVE, it’ll be easy to BE DILIGENT!

And if you do all three, you can easily slip in loads of fun activities and memory-making!

Nine Ways ALEXA Has Improved Our Lives

November 25, 2019 by Katherine Wolfe 47 Comments

{This post may contain affiliate links. Please read our Disclosure Policy for details.}

We’re a family of four and we have nine Alexas in our home.

Four people with nine Alexas.

That’s more than twice the number of Alexas than people!

Why so many, you wonder?

Because having Alexa available in several rooms throughout the house has IMPROVED OUR LIVES IN MANY WAYS.

We started with one Echo in the living room and were so impressed that we added eight more Alexas over the course of a few months.

Our Alexa army currently includes the following…

a Dot on my vanity {Mama Wolfe}

a Dot in my mom’s suite {Train Gampen}

a Dot in our son’s bedroom {The Lone Wolfe}

a Dot in our son’s playroom/office {The Ploffice}

a Dot in my husband’s home office {Alpha Wolfe}

an Echo in the basement family room {The Wolfe Den}

a Dot in my workspace in the basement {the Wolfe Sanctuary} plus

a Dot in the boringly named Kitchen and an Echo in the Living Room.

But, why so many?!?!?!

Alexa has way more to offer than just random trivia bits or info on what time the local grocery store closes. She has a long list of skills….so long that we have just begun to scratch the surface.

Below are NINE WAYS ALEXA HAS IMPROVED OUR LIVES so far.

ONE: {Alexa has TAUGHT us a lot.}

Our son, who will soon be 13, definitely uses Alexa more than anybody else in our family. He is homeschooled and will ask Alexa for definitions of unknown words he comes across while reading. He checks his math problems {after he computes them on his own, of course}. He confirms correct spelling as he is writing. He even asks Alexa to read long Bible passages for Bible history.

But, he’s not the only one who uses Alexa to learn new things. If the family gets into a debate over a historical fact, some random bit of trivia or whether Columbus Day is a federal holiday, we ask Alexa to settle the debate. All we have to do is say her name and ask the question. She instantly reports what she finds on the Internet. She has TAUGHT US A LOT!

BONUS: Anything that is asked of Alexa instantly appears in the app on my phone. So, if the 12 year old is seeking inappropriate information, I would instantly know.

TWO: {Alexa has GIVEN us peace of mind.}

My elderly mother lives with us. and she has an Alexa next to her bed that she uses anytime she needs help. She can either drop in on one of us and ask directly for help with something or she can make an announcement which goes out to every Alexa in the house at the same time. Being able to easily ask for help when needed has allowed her to have continued independence and GIVEN US PEACE OF MIND.

BONUS: My mom also uses Alexa to help in other ways, including turning her lights on/off, setting timers, controlling her TV and more.

THREE: {Alexa has DECREASED hollering.}

Our house is not huge but it is big enough that in order to communicate with with one another, we used to do a lot of hollering. From room to room. From upstairs to downstairs. From one end of the house to the other. But, with Alexa’s drop in feature, the hollering has come to a halt. Now, we just drop in on one another. If I need to check on whether our son is showered and ready to roll, instead of hollering upstairs, I can just drop in on him in his bedroom and gently ask. Or, if I’m in the kitchen and my husband is in his basement office but I want to find out if he wants meatloaf or burgers for dinner, I don’t need to scream. I can just drop in on him and ask {or remind him to take out the trash, hang the Christmas lights, call the plumber….} So, Alexa has DECREASED HOLLERING and increased calm conversations.

BONUS: Whomever you drop in on cannot ignore you and pretend they don’t hear your question. When you drop in, it opens a two-way conversation so you instantly hear everything in the other room while the other room can also hear you. It truly allows for calm two-way conversations.

FOUR: {Alexa has ORGANIZED our lives.}

Alexa is amazing at organizing things. She can make lists, set reminders and assign chores. And she does all of those things with a simple command.

Our son is actually pretty good at doing his daily chores but struggles to remember things that are only required of him once or twice weekly. But by assigning “trash” and “dog doo” to his chores, Alexa reminds him {instead of me nagging him}. She even offers him praise when he completes the chore.

She can also keep track of grocery lists and tasks to do. From anywhere in the house, I can simply ask Alexa to “add peanut butter to my grocery list” and she does. Or, if I’m brushing my teeth in the downstairs bathroom and suddenly remember that I need to change the kid’s dentist appointment, I can ask her to add that to my tasks for tomorrow and she does. I’ve always been a fairly organized person, but Alexa has ORGANIZED OUR LIVES even more so!

BONUS: She has an amazing listening range and can pick up commands even when not in the same room.

FIVE: {Alexa has SAVED us time.}

One of my favorite ways to use Alexa is to ask her for weather and news updates while I am getting dressed to start the day. When I use my phone to check for those details, I always get sucked into the blackhole of FaceBook or get stuck swapping texts back and forth with a friend. But, with Alexa, I can easily listen to a quick weather report or news update while still putting on makeup or getting dressed. It’s as easy as can be and has saved me countless precious minutes each morning. And who doesn’t want to SAVE TIME?

SIX: {Alexa has REVAMPED our sleeping habits.}

We are a family of night owls, which means we find it hard to fall asleep at a decent time and then struggle to wake up early in the morning. But Alexa has helped us REVAMP OUR SLEEPING HABITS. Our son’s personalized playlist helps him fall asleep each night and his alarm wakes him each morning.

I don’t like to sleep to music but I utilize Alexa in a different way each night. I like to read in bed until I feel sleepy but now I use Alexa to read to me! All I have to do is ask her to read my choice from the Audible Library. She uses her soothing voice to read the next chapter of my book until I feel sleepy enough to finally fall asleep. All I have to do is say, “Alexa, stop” and she does.

BONUS: From the app, I can change the volume of my son’s music or stop it completely after he falls asleep. I can also verify that his alarm is set, change the time of his alarm or cancel the alarm altogether. She also offers several different types of alarms. Some are downright hilarious {Sharknado!} And you can even ask her to wake you up with your personalized playlist.

SEVEN: {Alexa has ENHANCED our days.}

Our son loves to listen to music…while he works, while he plays and even while he sleeps and having Alexa and unlimited Amazon Music has been a game-changer for him. It does not matter if he is doing his school work on the couch, at his desk or in the basement, he is able to access an unlimited array of songs instantly. Not only can he listen to some upbeat tunes during his math lesson, he can also listen to various samples of whatever classical composer we are studying at the time. He can even access the songs we use to memorize Scripture. The offerings on Amazon Music are truly vast and the instant access to such a variety of music has ENHANCED OUR DAYS in a big way.

BONUS: With the Alexa app, I can control the volume, stop the song and filter his choices. It also shows me everything he has listened to {in the off chance I did not HEAR it firsthand, ha ha!}

EIGHT: {Alexa has CREATED a peaceful space.}

This one might be unique to just our family but, I can definitely say that Alexa has CREATED A PEACEFUL SPACE for this Mama! Our son has a Ploffice for his school work and elaborate Lego collection. My husband has a home office in the basement. My mom has a large suite with loads of privacy. But, until I carved out a little sanctuary in the storage area of the basement, complete with comfy chair, big desk and Alexa, I did not have a work space to call my own. But, now I have a private, quiet, peaceful place to work on blog posts and TpT products. And because Alexa is a part of that equation, I can work diligently in my little sanctuary without feeling guilty for shirking my household duties or concerned that our son is ignoring his school work. My mom can reach me if she needs something. Our son can too.

NINE: {Alexa has INCREASED family time.}

The best thing Alexa has done for our family is INCREASE FAMILY TIME.

Between jamming to tunes while cleaning the house together and reminiscing about the “old” music my husband used to listen to, Alexa has used music to INCREASE FAMILY TIME.

Then you add in the GAMES that she offers, with or without game buttons, and Family Game Night has taken on a whole new dimension.

For a family Christmas gift, I plan to get an Echo Show for the kitchen so we can easily pull up recipes, catch the news and watch lunch-time documentaries!

My husband uses the Alexa app to drop in on the entire house on his way home from work. This allows us to put away the school work, quickly pick up any messes and be ready to greet him when he walks in the door. This habit has changed the dynamics of weekday evenings for the better in an immense way.

And with the increased communication throughout the house {including cutting into the gaming headphones}, making plans to spend more time together has never been easier.

And that’s something that everybody deserves!

The RARE REASON Our Family Doesn’t Do Santa

November 12, 2019 by Katherine Wolfe 4 Comments

As anybody who is on FaceBook or part of any “moms group” knows, whether your family does or doesn’t do Santa can be a hot-button topic. I’m an Admin for a large homeschool moms group on FaceBook and we even had to create two separate threads {Pro-Santa/No-Santa} because the two camps could not discuss their differences nicely. But, while we all know Santa discussions can lead to drama, did you know that there are several reasons that people claim for not doing Santa?

LYING TO OUR KIDS Not sure how or why the vast majority of the western world decided to band together to lie to our kids about this jolly, fat man and his magical capabilities. But, sure enough, you’ll find ALL walks of life agreeing to continue this childhood conspiracy. It does not matter where people land in the spectrum of most defining categories: finances, education, race, politics, gender, location, social beliefs…

Most people in the western world lie to our kids about Santa. And it’s not just us lying to our own kids. We actually EXPECT others to lie to our kids too. Phone calls are made to the principal if some bratty kid on the playground breaks the news to Santa-believers. It’s common practice for the Wal-Mart check out lady to perpetuate the lie to our kids by asking what they asked for from Santa. Classroom teachers cannot discuss their own religious beliefs with their students, but, by golly, they better lie to them about the fat man in the red suit.

But, as bizarre as the lying is, that is not why we don’t do Santa in our home.

JESUS IS THE REASON FOR THE SEASON Another reason, which is more often discussed in my circle of friends, is the fact that allowing Santa to be a part of Christmas takes away from the real reason for the season: celebrating the birth of Jesus Christ.

Now this reason can be {and often is} debated back and forth among conservative Christians even within the same denomination. The basic argument is that Santa and all of the gift-giving hullabaloo simply distracts from Jesus. And, anything that distracts from our focus being on the world’s Savior is not glorifying to God. It’s kinda hard to argue against that basic stance, though people do.

But, that’s not the reason we don’t do Santa in our home either.

SANTA IS CREEPY This one is only occasionally thrown out there as a reason not to do Santa but it certainly deserves a quick mention. After all, when you think about it, what Santa supposedly does in our lives is totally creepy and downright illegal. He “knows if you’ve been good or bad” and he sneaks into our homes while we are sleeping and leaves suspicious packages behind. If Santa isn’t a terrorist leaving behind explosive devices wrapped in red and green packages, then at the very least, he is a dirty old man watching our kids’ every action. In what universe is that NOT creepy? Apparently, this one.

And, yet, even that is not the reason we do not do Santa.

None of the reasons above are why we do not do Santa.

Our reason is very simple: Santa is not God.

Santa is not God but we give him god-like capabilities and ask our kids to believe them.

But Santa is not God.

Santa cannot perform miracles.

Santa cannot read our minds.

Santa cannot control the physical capabilities of animals.

Santa cannot harness magic and make time stop enough for him to drop down chimneys across the globe in less than 24 hours.

Santa cannot do any of that and yet we tell our kids he can.

But he cannot.

No man can.

Only God can.

And, Santa is not God.

Now before you raise your voiceless thoughts at me and explain that believing in Santa is no different than believing in Super Man, mysertious wardrobes or toothless Night Fury dragons, let me stop you. Unless you are actually telling your kids that Super Man ACTUALLY EXISTS and will be saving the day just as soon as he changes clothes in a nearby phone booth* or that the closet has the true capability of transporting your kid to Narnia, then, no, it’s not the same thing.

Our family firmly believes in the beauty of the imagination. Our son has read the entire Chronicles of Narnia and has watched every Star Wars, Marvel and HTTYD movie. He likes to build made-up animals with Legos and write creative stories about crazy creatures. He used to ask his 85 year old Gampen to dress up like a puppy and command her to do tricks as if he were a dog trainer. Having, nurturing and using an imagination is not only a good thing, it’s a vital part of being a kid and growing into a functional adult.

But when we tell our kids that there is an actual person who uses magic powers to accomplish all that Santa supposedly does, we are not simply supporting their imagination.

We ARE making Santa into a god.

We ARE equating Santa to the one and only true God.

Santa cannot perform miracles. Only God can.

Santa cannot read our minds. Only God can.

Santa cannot stop time. Only God can.

How can we justify telling our kids that Santa is a real entity with God-like powers in the same breath that reads the Bible at bed-time and glorifies the fact that ONLY GOD can move mountains, perform miracles and save us from ourselves?

We can try to deny that it’s confusing to our kids, after all, you were raised with Santa and you turned out okay. Right? Me too!

But, my brother didn’t. He’s a great person, dedicated father and a loving husband. But, he’s not a Christian. He’s not saved. Is Santa to blame? I don’t know. My brother certainly doesn’t point to Santa Claus when he repeatedly explains to my parents why he doesn’t “buy into that Jesus stuff.” But, perhaps deep-down somewhere there is a kernel of doubt that festers in his heart because what my parents said about God simply didn’t square with what they said about Santa. I don’t know. But, believe me, if that is even .000001% of the reason my brother isn’t a believer and my parents could go back and change their approach to Santa, they would.

Why would we intentionally create a potential stumbling block for our kids when we can avoid it? Christmas can be plenty fun without doing Santa. Our family has loads of Christmas traditions and has made tons of wonderful memories. We enjoy all of the festivities with a giant {REAL} tree, too much food, loads of decorations, tons of presents and as many Christmas carols as Alexa can throw at us.

We even have Santa stuff in our home. We have stockings that are always overstuffed. We watch Elf and sing about Rudolph. I have a collection of Father Christmas figurines from around the globe. We make and frost Santa shaped cookies. Santa is definitely a part of the holiday but we treat him like a fictional character at the center of a holiday story. That’s it. Why?